51. “I used to say no one’s that stupid. Then I met you.”
52. “Tell me the truth.”
“I can’t talk to you.”
“You can’t just say that and ignore me.”
“You want the truth? The truth is… I can’t talk to you.”
53. “It’s just a thing. Let it go.”
“You just don’t get it. It’s not just a thing. It’s a memory. It’s a thousand feelings held in one small object. And those can’t be replaced.”
54. “That is so not a ritual prayer dance.”
“Yes, it is. I danced it praying they wouldn’t kill me. And now it’s a ritual because I do it every year.”
55. “Sometimes you give your heart away for nothing. For someone or something that can’t or won’t let love you back.”
“Is that what you think you did?”
“You never cared about me at all. Of course it is.”
56. “You know, when most people want to quit their job, they find another one first and then give notice. You, on the other hand…”
“Yeah, believe me, that did not go as planned.”
57. “I didn’t realize we were playing a game.”
“Oh, we were. The rules are simple. It’s a contest to see who can screw up their life more.”
“I take it you won?”
58. “What is this?”
“I’m sending it to reassure everyone.”
“I’m only going to say this once: no one was ever reassured by a form letter.”
59. “This isn’t what I ordered.”
“So? It’s what you need.”
60. “I was all set to be profound, but my mind’s completely blank.”
61. “They gave me a ribbon.”
“For participation.”
“It’s still more than you got.”
62. “I just got asked the most dreaded question in the world.”
“Oh? What exactly is that?”
“Why aren’t you married yet?”
63. “No one can own the darkness. It owns them.”
64. “Every time you tell me to do something, I have the overwhelming urge to do the exact opposite.”
“Fine, then. Don’t kiss me.”
“I’m not that stupid.”
65. “I love this time of year.”
“Well, that cinches it. You are an idiot.”
66. “They said you’d be here.”
“And you still came? You’re either braver than I thought or…”
“Or?”
“Stupider.”
67. “Quit singing.”
“I’m not singing. I’m humming.”
“Quit humming, then.”
“Fine.” *starts singing*
68. “I’ve tried, but no matter what I do, it doesn’t make sense.”
“Life, you mean? It is pretty complicated.”
“Oh, I’m nowhere near figuring out life. I can’t even make this coffee pot work.”
69. “When I said that I missed you…”
“You really missed me?”
“No, more like…”
“You didn’t miss me at all?”
“Yeah. Like that.”
70. “Your cat tried to get in the computer bag. He must think it’s some kind of toy.”
“Maybe he just wanted to play with the mouse.”
*groans*
71. “Have you done anything today besides play video games?”
“I got out of bed.”
72. “I gave you a gift.”
“I never asked for one.”
“You don’t have to, not with gifts.”
73. “Here’s to another bad financial decision.”
“You’ve been shopping online again, haven’t you?”
74. “My creativity is null and void.”
75. “I really don’t like this.”
“Come on, this is tame compared to some of the things I’ve asked you to do in the past.”
“Which is why I know it will go horribly wrong.”