More Discussion and One Inevitable Loss in Nano

Author’s Note: Early this morning I got an emergency call into work this afternoon. A part of me regretted being available for that that because working the day after the legal holiday and the weekend was rather brutal. I felt overwhelmed all day long, and it didn’t help that I felt sick, too.

We won’t talk about the mistakes I made at work.

That just explains why there’s not very much here today. I still feel brain dead.


Discussions, Wins, and Losses

“We’ve been tracking a few shell companies that we believe are front for some… drug cartels,” Morton said, getting everyone’s attention back on him and making the room tense for a different reason. “I’m not going to go into specifics there because it’s an on-going investigation and we don’t want that getting out—we don’t really want them knowing that we’ve figured out the shell companies—but we did see that Cunningham had several ‘consultations’ that these shell companies had paid for, and that’s when we got suspicious.”

Nolan nodded, grateful for the man’s attempt to get the conversation away from Shaelynn’s latest outburst. He didn’t want to start that argument again. “Could be them trying to make the businesses look legitimate. Cunningham’s firm has been around a lot longer than mine—his father started it, and it used to be a decent place before he retired and let his sleaze of a son take over—so it has a reputation and fair share of the market. He does have good people working for him, even if he’s an idiot. Then again, it could be a bit of money laundering. Cunningham gets his ridiculous fee, turns around and spends it like any spoiled rich guy, but it goes back into a ‘legitimate’ business they own.”

“That could be it,” Morton agreed, combing his fingers through his wife’s hair. “I like the idea, personally, but I don’t think most of the people in my unit would.”

“He’s glad you agree with him, though, because that’s what he pegged Cunningham for from the beginning,” Kaplan said, reaching up to stop her husband’s hand. Nolan couldn’t help feeling a bit jealous of all those small gestures. Shaelynn didn’t want to see that as love, but Nolan did, and he knew how rare that was. “I agreed with him, but I’m missing persons and his wife, so I don’t count.”

Shaelynn snorted. “Could be worse. They could have said you didn’t count because you were a woman.”

Kaplan’s jaw tightened. “Things like that have happened before, though in general, the bureau’s not that bad when it comes to how female agents are treated. There are… bad apples, though.”

“And we’re not discussing that,” Morton said, kissing her neck. “One problem with the money laundering theory is that Cunningham would have to be aware of what he was doing to launder the money.”

“Not necessarily,” Shaelynn said, giving her skirt a glance. Nolan had asked her to change it hours ago, but she’d refused to leave the office before he got the video of Creamsicle and knew his apartment had been compromised. “Depending on who he consulted for—a certain woman that Nolan’s had dealings with comes to mind—they could suggest certain purchases or restaurants. Think about the woman he thinks he’s dating. She’d be in an ideal position to manipulate his spending without him realizing it. He took a case from me without even looking at the file. He spent most of the time looking at my legs.”

“And you complain when I compare you to Betty Grable.”

“Shut up, Nolan.”

Kaplan and Morton exchanged looks. Nolan pretended he didn’t see it. He leaned back, rubbing his neck. “Shaelynn would be in an ideal position to help you with your case, but she will hit me and say she’s not going anywhere near it in a second. I’m not suggesting she change her mind about that, but I do think that she’s got a point about how Cunningham could be being manipulated.”

“If I wasn’t as busy as I already am, I’d do it for you, much as I suck at undercover work,” Kaplan told Morton, and he stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.

“No. I don’t think that’s ever going to be an option, Geneva. Sometimes I take it wrong when one of my brothers compliments you. I’m not okay with you taking an assignment where the main point is to get you to use the feminine charms that I love so much on someone else. Not to mention that neither of our kids would forgive us if they found out about that—I don’t care if it was just for an assignment. We can ask another female agent.”

“Or I could do it,” Nora said. Everyone looked at her. She shrugged. “Cunningham has hit on me multiple times without ever remembering that Nolan is my brother. I’m not just a glorified secretary for my brother—I screen the cases, too. I’m good at knowing what will interest Nolan and what won’t and what I can pass on to him just to annoy him. I am also a woman who knows how to spend money. I do it very well.”

Nolan grimaced. “She’s right about that, at least—Nora’s the one that buys everything. She knows it’s value and can talk people into things they’d never buy if they were shopping on their own.”

She smiled. “The true test would be if I didn’t end up hurting Cunningham before it was over.”

“Only there is no way that you would go undercover as Cunningham’s latest bimbo when your brother’s life has been threatened and he might be behind it,” Shaelynn said, fixing Nora with a dark glare. “None of us really believe that he is, but we can’t just eliminate him because we think he’s a sleaze.”

“Maybe I’d be doing both—eliminating him from the threat to Nolan and getting him nailed for his role as a cartel patsy.”

Nolan held up a hand. “Can we take a step back here and pretend you two aren’t trying to carry on that old rivalry you’ve had since we were kids? We’re trying to work through all the angles to help all of us with our respective problems. Morton and Kaplan have cases to work and we have this threat someone’s made—”

“All of which could tie to you,” Shaelynn said. She shook her head. “Maybe Nora does need to get Cunningham to slip up. Or I do because I do have that ‘in’ already. We have to eliminate him and the possibility that the cartel is interested in Nolan for any reason. They might have ordered this whole takeover. On the other hand, the connection is thin, and it might be nothing.”

Nolan shook his head. “I’m starting to think that I should just let myself get shot again. This is getting ridiculous.”

“You are not getting shot again.” Shaelynn would put him in bubble wrap if she could—well, probably a bulletproof vest and full body armor—but he was not going to let himself be sidelined and smothered. “That is not an option.”

“They did like to make bombs, too, in the cult.”

Shaelynn glared at him. “And we learned hand-to-hand combat, but you don’t need to go provoking me like you did Ambrose.”

“Back to the missing girls,” Nolan said. “We have wasted a lot of time and not discussed them at all. I went back through what I remembered of talking to the one, but I don’t remember her giving me any kind of verbal cues toward where she might be. She was angry, she hated her father and she hated me for ‘working’ for him. I still can’t get the exact phrase back—something about ‘another suit doing the work of the suit who’d never had a hard day in his life.’ I remember asking her if she considered growing up with an addict who joined a cult and then being forced to be a child soldier until escaping from that cult was something hard or not, and she just glared at me. That was it. I wish I had more, but she was not willing to talk to me.”

“They were Dad’s type, though,” Shaelynn said, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around herself. “They kind of look like my mother did when he found her. She was some teenage runaway, I guess. She thought she’d found something great, but she didn’t make it past her third child.”

“If they were looking to frame the cult for the girls’ kidnapping, that would help,” Nolan said. He shook his head. “I still think that connection’s too thin. I don’t know that I can buy that they’d do all this to me even if they were trying to obscure why those girls went missing.”

Morton shifted in his seat. “It might be more convincing if the cult was not threatening you but making you the new head of it. You are the ‘charismatic young rebel’ that overthrew the cult and became a successful businessman. You’re the one that might have wanted all that for yourself and decided to create it, but not by taking his—by building your own.”

“Nolan never drank that Kool-Aid. He has no interest in being a monster like my father.”

“I can’t even manage to have one wife,” Nolan agreed, and she glared at him again. He ignored it. “I admit, I might seem like the type to frame for that, but they’re labeling me a traitor and pointing out where I’m supposed to spend eternity. That doesn’t fit.”

Kaplan nodded. “I agree, but if someone did think they could use that cult to hide what they’ve done to those girls, they’d have to give us a reason to think the cult was active again. Harassing you is the obvious choice for that.”

“I still think—”

The door banged in the frame, and Nolan frowned as Nora crossed to answer it.

“Look! We finally caught him. Isn’t he cute, Dad?” the girl asked. She nudged the boy beside her, and he nodded.

“Mom, can we have a cat?”

Nora looked over at Nolan. He shook his head, not willing to accept that he was losing another cat. That just… couldn’t happen.


 

“Nolan?”

Shaelynn walked up behind him, not sure if it was worth lecturing him on being in front of the window. She knew that he was taking this a lot harder than he wanted to let on, but the cat was a part of his family, and he had let him go. He’d lost something else important when he had very little left to lose. She knew he’d been through plenty today, and now was not the time for him to say goodbye to Boots, but they’d all known the moment those kids came back in with him that they were going home with him.

The parents had been about as dismayed by this outcome as Nolan was, but they’d both caved in the faces of those children, and Nolan had as well.

“I said he was family,” Nolan whispered. “How do I give away family?”

“You didn’t give him away,” Shaelynn said, touching his back. “You let him go to a place that was better for him because he needed it and the kids needed him. It’s not like you got rid of him. You helped him go to somewhere he can be happier. You let him go, but that’s what you have to do sometimes with the things you care about.”

“Don’t say that,” Nolan snapped, pulling away from her. “Not you. Not to me. Not ever.”

She winced. She supposed that would bring up all that stuff from the past—he had let her go, and she’d only known learned how much he’d hated doing it. They’d still been friends. She’d known he was upset, but not the degree of that upset.

“You’re all too willing to let Nora go,” Shaelynn began, and he frowned at her. “You want her to pair up with some guy you’ve never met and—”

“I want Nora to fill her life with love. With people. I want her to care about the ones she loves, not love the things she has. That can’t replace what we never had growing up, and it never will. I don’t know Morton, no, but I heard that tone in Kaplan’s voice, and I saw him with her tonight—if his brother is like him, then he’s what Nora needs. I don’t know that it would really work—the idea is crazy as hell—but I still want her to find someone, and not someone at the firm because they’re not what she needs. She needs someone real—someone who doesn’t care about possessions, and a man in the army doesn’t care about that one bit. Sometimes all he has is one bag or the gear on his back. Nora has forgotten what matters. She needs someone to remind her of that, and it’s not me. I can’t get through to her anymore.”

Shaelynn would have offered to help if it would have done any good, but she knew she’d just anger Nora if she tried to give her advice, and she didn’t buy into Nolan’s idea of love being the answer anyway.

She crossed to the window and pulled the curtains shut, making the room darker. Nora might still be in the bath in the other part of the suite, or she could already have taken the other bed. Shaelynn didn’t figure the other woman would have any trouble sleeping—she never seemed to when they were kids. She’d never known if that was ignorance of their situation or just stubbornness—no one denied Nora what she wanted for long—but she’d always found it annoying that the girl could sleep through anything.

Her brother had terrible nightmares about things he’d never do—or things he wouldn’t tell either of them about; Shaelynn figured the days with their mother the addict were worse than he usually said—but Nora could sleep without a hint of disturbance. Shaelynn had never had that herself. From the moment she’d started training, she’d been afraid of Ambrose, and that fear just got worse the more convinced she became that she would be forced to be his wife.

“Come on,” she said, holding out her hand to Nolan. “Time for bed.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to argue the whole couch bed gentlemanly honor thing with you. I can’t sleep, so you get the bed. I’ll sit up and read or something, so I get the couch.”

“No, you get the snuggly toy.”

He swallowed. “Shaelynn, don’t do this to me. Please.”

She frowned, pushing him toward the bed. “You may not want to sleep, it may still scare you, but after a day like today, you need it more than ever. So what you’re going to do now is get in bed and get some rest.”

He shook his head. “I think this is a very bad idea. I can’t get all dependent on you again.”
“You lost a cat—yes, you can go visit him sometime, but you still don’t have him with you right now—so you get the snuggly toy. End of discussion.”


Old Characters Make Another Appearance in Nano

Author’s Note: So… I don’t know if this is a plot, but I did manage to get more, and Raleigh got to make an appearance this time around (well, so did Kaplan) and I liked that a lot more than I should have.

I was told to get to the important stuff.

I had to ask what that was…


Once More with Guests of Honor

“Sheppard? Anything missing?”

“Would you please go away?” Nolan muttered, grumbling to himself as he tried to crawl under the bed. Shaelynn had Boots in her arms and Creamsicle on her shoulder, and Nora seemed to have reclaimed Hazelnut, but Patchwork refused to come out with everyone in the apartment, and Nolan would not be satisfied until he was able to see for himself that she hadn’t been hurt. “I want to find my cat and then I’ll give you an inventory.”

“I can help with that,” Nora said, not letting go of Hazelnut. “Nolan has three paintings in the front room. None of them masterpieces. Their combined value is less than that of his television, which I believe was still sitting there. Table is nice, but inexpensive, since he figured he’d break the glass one that went with the living room set—vase is not even a cheap knock off—Nolan picked it up at some department store—the flowers, of course, are fake. The cabinet there is an antique, but Nolan repainted it and ruined its value…”

Shaelynn moved further into the bedroom, not wanting to hear all of Nora’s commentary on the stuff that her brother owned—she didn’t figure that the cops wanted it, either, but it was their job to listen, not hers.

“People really spook her this much?”

“She’s not the most outgoing cat, but this is worse than usual,” Nolan said, cursing as Patchwork hissed. Shaelynn figured he’d gotten scratched, but he managed to crawl back out with her in his arms, hissing and fighting the whole time. “I think she’s all right, but this is not going to be easy on her. She doesn’t like disruptions to her routine.”

“Sounds kind of high maintenance to me. Not quite what I’d figured for you when you said she was the love of your life.”

He snorted. “If I wanted a simple woman, I would never have married you.”

Shaelynn glared at him, but he ignored her as he tried to get Patchwork calm, talking to her in quiet tones but avoiding baby-talk as he rocked her, pacing the room. He stopped in front of his closet and frowned. “Um, lieutenant?”

From the way the other man rushed in, he was all too glad to have an excuse to leave Nora’s inventory. He stopped, frowning at Nolan. “I see you got the cat. You are allowed to take them, if that was your question.”

“No,” Nolan said, nodding toward the closet. “I locked that this morning. Shaelynn was threatening to destroy my suits, so I figured I’d slow her down an extra half-second with that. Someone has definitely been in there.”

The lieutenant turned to her. “And was that you?”

She shook her head. “I took this one from his office—haven’t been back here to deal with his closet yet. I was busy with other things. I even have an alibi if you want it.”

“Maybe.”

Nolan shifted Patchwork in his arms. “I have a feeling that I won’t like what’s in my closet now.”

“They would have had to clear the room when they looked for the intruder,” Shaelynn reminded him. “No bogeyman’s waiting in there for you, and they should have seen anything the guy left behind.”

Nolan pushed the door open. With his shirts and jackets stored on individual hangers, the bottom of the closet was clear other than the one space with the shoe caddy, and it was clear no one was there. He forced the clothes apart, creating a gap that revealed a crude drawing of a circle with several smaller ones inside it.

“That mean anything to you?”

“I’d assume it refers to the ninth circle,” Nolan said, getting a frown from the other man. “Dante. The Inferno. Required reading once. It’s the area of hell reserved for betrayers and mutineers. And me, I suppose.”

Shaelynn grimaced. “When we find this guy, I am going to hurt him. My father didn’t have anything worth upholding—you were a saint compared to him—and you didn’t betray anything. You did the right thing. That’s something Boath never knew—he doesn’t know the meaning of the word right.”

“No, he just twisted it very well.”


 

“I can’t find a sign that they did anything to my place,” Nora said, shaking her head. She sat down on the couch in their new suite, glaring at the supposedly luxury around her. Nolan didn’t want to think about what her adding machine of a brain was calculating for the real value of anything in here. He knew it was probably helping her stay calm, though, so he didn’t stop her. “I don’t think I believe that they weren’t there, but I just don’t see where they did anything.”

“Maybe the idea is just to unsettle us by letting us wonder,” Nolan told her. That was a rather effective strategy, unfortunately. Not knowing could be a lot worse than actually knowing—as he’d just gone through with this not sleeping business.

“And maybe they don’t have any intention of hurting Nora, just you,” Shaelynn said, getting a glare from both of them. She shrugged it off. “Nora was only ever slated to be one of the wives. They never saw her as a threat. Maybe as something to reclaim, but to fear? No. You’re the one that the cult hates, Nolan. That’s not something you can deny.”

“They should hate you,” Nora said, and Shaelynn’s eyes narrowed at her. “Come on—you were only Boath’s favorite daughter. Then you marry the outcast and help him take down the whole cult? Why don’t more of them hate you?”

“Because they still think she was just a helpless woman bystander for all this who followed her husband without a choice because that was what she was supposed to do.”

Shaelynn gagged. “That is so not anything I would ever do. I chose not to turn you in, and half that damn escape plan was mine. I helped. I planned. I would have shot someone if I had to. Idiots.”

Nolan shook his head. “I just explained why they would think that you had no part in it—I keep telling you—I could never have done that on my own. I needed you. I still do.”

Shaelynn let out a breath, leaning back against her chair. She took Creamsicle down from her shoulder and held him in her hands. “Where does this leave us, then? I think the police are completely convinced that this is about the cult. Between the ‘traitor’ on the car and the explanation Nolan gave for that message in his closet, and the fact that they didn’t even bother with the safe or any of the valuables at the apartment, I’m sure the police won’t want to spend a lot of resources on the unlikely possibility that it’s nothing to do with the past.”

“Assuming our contact can find any sign of listening devices or what they might have been, there is a small possibility of tracking them back to the source, but mostly what we have is what we had before—nothing. We can keep digging into the files for stuff I’ve worked lately, and we might get more from that, but our biggest ‘lead’ was Cunningham, and we all seem to agree that he’s sleaze but not behind this, right?”

Nora ran her hand over Hazelnut’s fur, mouth thin. “I doubt he is. I don’t have the same expertise that you do, but all I got from him was the need for a few extra showers. I don’t think he actually can think with anything above his waist.”

Shaelynn laughed. “No, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.”

Nolan grimaced. He didn’t really want to think about Cunningham ogling either of the women in his life. He’d like to punch the guy, though. “We did bring the files we were arguing over with when we left. Shaelynn can have her catfight—sorry, Patchwork—with that former client of ours, and I guess I’ll look into one of the others again.”

“You still have Agent Kaplan’s number?”

He nodded. “Yes, but I don’t see the need to call her into this. We still don’t have a connection between anything we know and what she’s investigating. I’m being threatened by someone from the cult—or so all the evidence suggests. Even if someone wasn’t trying to frame the cult for this, why would they be after me when I know nothing about those missing girls?”

“Except we all jumped to the conclusion that Kaplan and Shaw were there about a cult. Shaw might have been an idiot, but he thought it was about the cult. It is possible that someone is trying to use your connection to the would be politician to obscure a kidnapping or murder by making it look like the work of the cult.”

“The cult whose leaders are all dead or in prison? That’s a dumb plan,” Nolan said. “Worse than one of mine.”

Shaelynn smiled a little at the last part, but she shook her head all the same. “Criminals aren’t always rocket scientists. Police shows have made them smarter than they would be so that they get an entertaining hour or so, but most of the time it’s not half as complicated as they show. It’s simple, and it’s almost always personal. This person could just assume that the cult angle will work even if it’s unlikely as all get out.”

“True.” Nolan reached into his pocket and dug out the card. “Anyone else want the honors?”

“Honestly,” Shaelynn muttered, annoyed. “Give it to me. I’ll make the damn call.”


 

“Morton.”

Shaelynn frowned. “Morton?”

“Yes. Do you want the Raleigh or the agent to go with that?”

“Well… I think I prefer the agent, but I must have the wrong number. I was trying to reach Agent Kaplan,” Shaelynn said, pulling the phone away from her ear when she heard a curse.

“Damn. I have Geneva’s phone again. That’s the third time this week. Moonshine, I swear, if you don’t stop switching my phone with your stepmother’s, I’m going to shove socks in your mouth while you sleep.”

Shaelynn wasn’t sure she’d heard that right. “Excuse me?”

Morton coughed. “Sorry. My daughter. She thinks this is hilarious. Right now she’s rolling on the floor laughing while her stepbrother keeps giving her the ‘Carolina is nuts’ look, and I find myself in need of either my wife or one of my brothers to keep me from harming my own child.”

“Oh, come on, Dad. You know you love me.”

“You are so grounded. Go to your room, and no eavesdropping. That’s you, too, Tim,” Morton said, and Shaelynn heard him sigh. “My daughter is either going to take over the world or become the first female president. She scares me.”

Shaelynn was tempted to laugh. “I take it Kaplan is your wife?”

“Yes, and I apologize for the confusion. She’s not home right now—missing persons cases means she’s usually not home at night unless they find them—so you can try the office, but if she’s in the field and has my phone, well…”

“This might pertain to her case.”

“Still going to have to call her office. I’m not giving you my cell number. Call me paranoid, but we went through a lot and—”

“In case I don’t reach her, tell her Shaelynn Sheppard called. Someone is threatening Nolan, and while it is unlikely that it’s about those missing girls, with someone making it look like the cult is after him… it could be, if they thought they could obscure the truth behind the girls’ disappearance with the cult angle.”

“This wouldn’t be Nolan Sheppard who is facing a hostile takeover from Channing Cunningham, would it?”

“It might be. Why?”

Morton grunted. “I actually was meaning to talk to him about Cunningham for one of my cases. I’d be interested in talking this all over, but without a babysitter that can’t get manipulated by an eight year old hellion…”

Shaelynn frowned. If Cunningham was being investigated for racketeering—that seemed well above what he was capable of, though he seemed like a good puppet to her—then they had another reason why someone might be after Nolan. She figured they needed to know about that angle, too, and now rather than later. She wasn’t a babysitter—Nora would throw a fit if she was put in that position—but both of them could more than handle this supposed hellion. They’d grown up in a cult, after all.

She paused, thinking she might be the wrong choice since she actually felt like doing some target practice today. She looked down at Creamsicle. “Does this child of yours like cats?”

“I think so. Why?”

“Nolan has four.”

“I’m not sure even four cats is enough to distract my daughter from being her nosy little—I heard that, Moonshine. Guess what? You’re now grounded for a month. Tim, you’ve got two weeks, and you better start thinking about this peer pressure thing because she’s taking you right down the garden path, and you will regret it.” Morton cursed. “Oh, the hell with it. I apparently can’t handle them on my own today. Where can we meet?”

Shaelynn gave him the name of the hotel and their suite number before hanging up. She walked back into the other room. “Agent Morton’s coming to see us.”

“Morton?” Nolan asked. “Is that the replacement for Shaw, then?”

She figured that would have pleased the hell out of Kaplan, but that had to be against their agency’s regulations. “No. Kaplan’s husband.”

Nora frowned, but Nolan grinned, clapping his hands together. He hadn’t forgotten about that insane idea of pairing his sister up with one of Morton’s brothers. Shaelynn didn’t know why he’d still want to do that, but maybe he just wanted the distraction at this point.

“He’s bringing their kids.”

“Well… That could be interesting.”


 

Nolan beat Shaelynn to the door, ignoring her glare. He didn’t care to let her open the door for him all bodyguard-like. She was not going to take a bullet for him. He wasn’t about to let that happen. If the person threatening him was outside that door right now, they could get him because he was not going to let anyone else open it.

He glanced at the kids and then at the man with them and smiled. “Agent Morton. Come in. I’m Nolan Sheppard.”

“Figured. I saw that article.”

“Yeah, we’re considering litigation on that,” Nolan said, letting go of the door as he jumped after Boots. “Damn it. Catch him if you can.”

“I got him!” the girl cried, but he escaped and kept on running. The boy started running with her after the cat, and Nolan sincerely hoped that the stairwell had a door.

Morton glanced toward the kids, shaking his head before he shrugged. “Well, that will wear them out, I guess. That should help.”

Nolan laughed. “He’ll keep them going in circles if he can’t get down the stairs. It’ll do more than wear them out. He’s fast and likes to escape whenever he can, though I thought that was over after I got Creamsicle.”

Morton blinked. “Creamsicle?”

“That ball of fluff that Shaelynn has.”

“Ah, yes.” Morton looked at the cat, apparently passed on trying to pet it, and helped himself to the other open chair. “Geneva said she’d be here in a few minutes. She can take over then. I think I’ll play the injured card tonight and go to bed early.”

“You can’t handle a couple of kids for a few hours?” Nora asked, shaking her head. “Men. You are all such babies.”

“Says you,” Nolan told her. “I’d like to see you try recovering from being shot.”

“One word,” Shaelynn said as she set Creamsicle down. “Labor.”

“Exactly.”

“Before they get to bond over that moment,” Nolan said, turning to Morton. “Neither of them have had any children. I think your wife is the only one that gets bragging right. You and I still have the whole being shot thing.”

“Let’s not discuss that too much. The subject still upsets my daughter, a lot. I am actually here to talk to you about Cunningham.”

Nolan grimaced. “I hate him. Still—Shaelynn had to talk to him today, so you might as well start with her. She has the freshest memory, most recent contact… All that fun stuff. Me? I haven’t seen him since that conference where I told him off—No, I take that back. After he sent his ‘spy’ into my office, I went in and told him off.”

“Any fireworks?”

“Only verbal ones.” Nolan picked up Patchwork and sat down next to Shaelynn. “Cunningham and I have never gotten along. I don’t know if he assumed I told Nora not to date him, but she generally makes up her own mind about that.”

“Generally?” Nora asked. “I don’t let anyone tell me who and who not to date. It has nothing to do with my overprotective older brother. I happen to have standards. Cunningham doesn’t even get close to the minimum I require.”

“And what exactly is that?”

Nora frowned. “I thought you were married, Agent Morton.”

“I am, and very happily so this time around, but I have to admit, I’m just enjoying a chance to converse with adults for a change. My daughter thinks she’s thirty, but she’s not an adult yet, and since I had to spend the day trying to avoid the question of when Geneva and I will give them a younger sibling, I want this interview to last forever.”

Nolan laughed. “Oh, well, we can talk about plenty of things unrelated to the case or the threats. I’d prefer that myself. I like distractions.”

“He’s only spent the last three days avoiding anything that might really be what’s going on with him,” Shaelynn muttered, shaking her head. “Don’t let him.”

“I’m not going to make any promises. I’d rather Geneva was here for any of the important conversations, and I figure I have to drag myself up out of this chair to check on the kids in a minute.”

“Oh, no, let Nora do that,” Nolan said, grinning at her. “She loves kids.”

“I just hate you,” she snapped, getting to her feet and stalking toward the door. She slammed it shut behind her, and Nolan shook his head.

He turned to Morton with a bright smile. “So… You think your brother would like her?”


 

“They’re out there chasing a cat.”

“I know,” Morton said, taking his wife’s hand and pulling her close to his chair before giving her a tug that got her into his lap. “It’ll wear them out, and we’ll have some peace for sleeping tonight which you know you could use. You’re burning the candle at both ends right now. I’m not sure I can take you working missing persons for much longer.”

Kaplan rolled her eyes, patting his cheek. “Racketeering got you shot. If you can stay working there, then I get to keep missing persons. It’s what I’m good at, Raleigh.”

“I just miss you, that’s all,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and rocking her a bit. “I’m making us both look completely unprofessional.”

“You usually do, Morton,” she said, trying to straighten up, but she didn’t manage it before he tightened his hold.

Shaelynn shifted, uncomfortable with all these displays of affection. She didn’t know why this was setting her off—normally she could care less what people did, but Kaplan and Morton had something that made her want to get up and check her gun.

Nolan lifted Creamsicle out of her lap. “Those two really love each other, don’t they?”

She shrugged. “I suppose.”

“You going back to that whole love doesn’t exist philosophy?”

“It doesn’t, Nolan. We’ve seen plenty of proof of that,” she said, taking the kitten back from him. She looked over at Morton and Kaplan. “Would you rather discuss the racketeering angle or the kidnapping or the threat to Nolan’s life?”

“I vote for none of the above,” Nolan muttered. He put a hand to his head. “I still don’t think there’s a connection, but Shaelynn takes paranoid to a new level—might have gotten that from her father—Damn, that hurt.”

She glared at him. “You deserved that.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. That doesn’t mean you’re not very, very paranoid. The idea that someone arranged an elaborate frame of the cult to cover up a kidnapping is almost ludicrous. I don’t see it. I think it would be an excellent cover for someone who wants me personally dead, but for something distantly connected to me? No. Then we have all the fun complications of the fact that Cunningham is trying for a hostile takeover while I’m being threatened, and I just think that somewhere, someplace, I really messed up to have all this hit at once.”

“It’s probably not a coincidence,” Kaplan said. She looked at Morton, who nodded. “We’re not big fans of coincidence.”

“Some good came of it,” Morton said. “I got you.”

Shaelynn shook her head, and Nolan took Creamsicle again. She frowned, but he rose, preventing her from getting her kitten back again. She considered getting up and going after him, but she didn’t feel like moving. She just wanted this conversation finished.

Kaplan cleared her throat. “Let’s ignore coincidence for a moment. Focus on what we do have. You’re at the center of all this somehow, Sheppard. If we play connect the dots—”

“I look suspicious?” Nolan finished. He should be glad that Nora hadn’t opened the door to come back in until after he’d said it, though she might still figure it out and get angry anyway.

“Shaw did suggest it was all an elaborate way of making us think it wasn’t you,” she told him. “That would be why I’m here alone—well, not quite.”

Morton grimaced. “We should have let DC put him through that wall. It might have actually proved that there was a brain in there somewhere.”

“And cost DC his commission. No.”

“I think you should have let him,” Nora said, coming back into the room, shoes in hand. Her hair was down and her cheeks had a bit of red to them. “Nolan, that cat is doing this on purpose, and I think you’re going to have to face facts—Boots is not meant to be an indoor cat. He wants to run around.”

“Don’t say that. You’re going to move and take Hazelnut back, I already know that, and Shaelynn’s claimed Creamsicle—I can’t lose Boots, too.”

Kaplan looked at her husband. “You know Timothy will be asking for a cat next.”

“Yes, but you’re the one with the no dog rule, not me.”

“Do you have a house?” Nora asked. At Kaplan’s nod, she smiled. “Good. I think you just got a cat. He’ll love that.”

“Nora! That’s my cat,” Nolan said, shaking his head. “She’s not allowed to give away my cat even if he wants to be an outdoors cat. He’s still mine.”

“Nolan,” Shaelynn said, crossing over to him. “No one is giving away your cats. Nora’s just saying that because she got stuck with the kids for a bit and they managed to get her out of her business Nora doll look so she’s annoyed with you.”

He looked down at the cat and back at her. “I am so sick of losing everything. I don’t know… Maybe it’s more that this finally really hit me that someone was in my apartment today. I haven’t had my privacy invaded like that since back in the days of no privacy at all in the cult.”

“We dealt with it then. You can do it now,” Shaelynn told him. “Think it through like we would have if this was one of Ambrose’s pass or die tests. Cunningham. When did you first meet him? When was he first an issue? What do you know about his business?”

“Met him thirteen years ago when I was still establishing the firm. He laughed at me, said I’d never make it as a consultant, and that this kind of work belonged to the grown ups.” Nolan laughed. “I told him maybe it did because a kid would still punch him in the face. He’s been asking for it ever since.”

Morton smiled. “And his business?”

“He doesn’t turn down a paycheck. He has no ethics to speak of. What I turn away, he accepts. He never looks past the surface story as long as the check is good.” Nolan shrugged. “When Shaelynn mentioned you wanted him for racketeering, I wasn’t exactly surprised. I don’t think he’s the brains, though. I think he’s just a good patsy.”

Nora snorted. “He’s a guy who thinks with the wrong head constantly and has a business. He’s the perfect patsy. All they have to do is dangle a pretty woman in front of him and he does whatever they want. He fell for Shaelynn’s act, didn’t he?”

She glared at Nora. “You say that like I am incapable of passing myself off as a simpering idiot like you, and I’m not.”

“Point of fact, he should have seen through that,” Morton said. “You don’t relax even when you seem relaxed. You’ve got the same look that both my brothers have—that awareness of all that’s around you and the readiness to jump to action. We agents have it, too, but Kaplan’s isn’t showing because she’s tired and mine needs work or I would never have gotten shot in the first place.”

Nolan nodded. “Like yesterday at the restaurant and how you memorized the room. You still do that, and I bet you could recreate a vivid picture of his office right now if I asked.”

Shaelynn’s jaw tightened, and she realized she was ready to hurt him. “Don’t.”

“I won’t,” he said, giving her back the kitten. He turned to Morton. “I’d almost be willing to let Cunningham take the firm temporarily and work for him if I could get at what he’s running behind the scenes—I’m not too bad at working things from the inside—”

“Absolutely not,” Shaelynn snapped. “You are not risking your life like that. How many times have we had this conversation? You’re not a cop, not an agent, not a hero, and you do not have to use what Ambrose taught us for anything. The whole point of escaping was to be free, damn it. Why would you put another bulls-eye on your back?”

“It would have been one way of saving the firm.”

“No. What is with you? When did you get so unreasonable?”

“And when are you going to stop overreacting to the idea of me working in tandem with law enforcement? It’s my life, isn’t it? You gave up having any say in it when you walked away thirteen years ago. You don’t get it both ways. You can’t say you’re no part of it and then expect to have a say in what happens. I offered you a partnership. You turned it down. You have no right to decide anything for Sheppard and Sheppard and none to decide things for me.”

“I am trying to keep you alive, remember?”

“And all of that was hypothetical.” He shook his head. “You overreacted.”

She closed her eyes. “I can’t accept you drinking the Kool-Aid. Not now. Not ever.”

He pulled her close to him. “I didn’t. You know that. I wouldn’t. You know that, too.”

She tried not to shudder. She didn’t like being weak. She just knew that Nolan was the only good that ever came out of her childhood, and she didn’t like the idea of him being corrupted. That was the same reason she hated his suits. She didn’t want to see him become something he wasn’t.

“You say that, but I hear him, and I have a very hard time believing that.”

Nolan reached up to cup her cheek. “I can’t go to the dark side with you here to stop me. Especially since you overreact to anything that comes close to the idea.”

“Don’t make me hit you.”


Attempting to Have a Plot in Nano…

Author’s Note: So today I actually made… progress. I hesitate to call it that because as far as plot goes, with all the tension and drama that a mystery/thriller is supposed to have… they just keep having conversations and domestic moments. I like their moments, and I like their banter.

At this point, given the way that my last four solo projects have imploded, I think I’ll just roll with what I’ve got and hope for reaching the 50,000 words. I’m over halfway there, but I keep thinking I’m going to hit a wall again (I even wrote the wall already, who am I kidding?) so I’m a bit doubtful about finishing this… I suppose I’d still have enough time to throw this sucker out and start over with a new one.

Ugh. I can’t believe I said that. I feel sick.


Not Much Progress

“I think I should raid your closet and get rid of all of those suits.”

Nolan looked back at his door, frowning at Shaelynn. She was planning something he wouldn’t like—he could tell that much by her clothes—that red excuse for a business suit was designed to exploit the fact that she was a woman and men were idiots—but that did not explain why she was contemplating ruining his wardrobe.

“Nora would be angry. These are expensive designer suits.” Nolan stopped to button his cuff. “I would be angry, actually. I don’t exactly enjoy standing around getting measured for these things. I have them just the way I like them, and I don’t want to have to replace them.”

“You are not a suit. What happened to all of your t-shirts and jeans?”

“I am a suit. I wear the suit, I live the suit, and I look good in the suit,” he said, going over to lock his closet. That wouldn’t stop her—she knew how to pick locks—but it would slow her down for half a second, maybe.

She shook her head, her voice taking on a stubborn tone. “You are not a suit.”

He snorted. “Thirteen years, Shaelynn. I’m not that teenage rebel anymore, and you don’t know me anymore. We’re not that close, not like we were, and this is me now.”

“This,” she said, a dangerous frost creeping in as she gestured to his suit, “is one of your acts, and it pisses me off to see it.”

“And what do you call that outfit you’re wearing, then?” He shook his head. He had too much practice in keeping his reactions from her, and he needed it, damn it, since that skirt was too teasing and that top too tight, but he had noticed it far more than he wanted to, and he had to keep his attention on his own clothes to stop thinking about hers.

“Distraction.”

“What?”

She laughed. “I am going in to see the enemy in his lair. I want to visit the man who wants to take your company over, and I do not want him to know why I was there or to remember much of anything about me except that red is not my color.”

“Are you kidding? I think you should let me call you Betty Boop after that. Though… you still have Betty Grable legs.”

Shaelynn rolled her eyes. “Enough with the references. I’m neither of those women, and you’re clearly immune to me, so it’s not worth arguing over.”

Immune. She thought he was immune to her. He didn’t know how he’d managed to pull that off, but that was one hell of an accomplishment. He reached down to pick Creamsicle off his suit jacket, not sure he could look at her right now—the temptation to prove how weak he really was to her was almost overwhelming.

“Stay away from my suits. I am not going to replace them.”

“That just gives me more reason to do it. I don’t like them, and I’d be glad to see you never wear one again.”

He set Creamsicle down and dusted off his jacket before pulling it on. “I’m starting to think you want to get me naked again.”

“You had a towel, and I saw more than I ever wanted to.”

He glared at her. He shouldn’t care. That wasn’t what they were, not even when they were married, but it still stung. She used to make jokes like that when they were kids, and he’d hated them then, too. He didn’t expect to be called the sexiest man alive—that title belonged to movie stars or other celebrities—but he did have something of an ego, and the fact that his wife had never been attracted to him was rather a blow to that ego no matter how messed up their situation had been.

“We should go. It’s getting late.”

He nodded. “We should, but since Nora hasn’t rung the bell yet, no point in rushing. Or did you forget that you didn’t get a rental and my car is impounded?”

“That’s the first thing on my to-do list—getting a car.”

“I’ll buy you a proper muscle car, just the sort of thing a girl like you dreams of—if you decide to become a partner in the firm.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want you buying me a car, and you don’t have that kind of money to throw around.”

He laughed. “Actually, I do. You have more money than I know what to do with. Nora finds uses for it, but me? I don’t need a lot. It’s a shame, really. If you’d held out a bit longer before you divorced me, you could have gotten a huge settlement.”

“I didn’t divorce you. We weren’t married,” Shaelynn said, her voice tight. “And that is not funny.”

He shrugged. “Sometimes trying to laugh about it is the only way to cope with how badly our lives got screwed up back then. Still… If you wanted to go get a car, we could pay cash for it today.”

“Damn.”

“What, I tempted you into it?”

“No,” she said. “I need my gun. Apparently, there’s a lot more reasons someone would want you dead than I was aware of.”


 

“I know I don’t want to know this, but what is with the two of you this morning?”

Nolan looked at his sister, really not wanting to answer that. Shaelynn had gone to start on her to-do list, off to get a car from somewhere, and now he was alone with Nora and her nosiness. Great. This was a wonderful morning. That was the price he had to pay for getting what he wanted last night, he supposed. Shaelynn had never liked sharing the same sleeping space, and she’d hated being the snuggly toy, but it had been… good that Ambrose found them that way when he roused them for one of his obnoxious drills. Good and bad. They’d convinced everyone they had a more normal marriage, but Ambrose hadn’t liked what he saw and Nolan had gotten extra “training” sessions for it.

He closed his eyes, leaning back for a moment. “The one part that I suppose matters is that she’s very determined to keep me alive. The part that is causing us frustration is that the past is getting in the way again.”

“In what sense?”

“You really are nosy today.”

Nora rolled her eyes, coming over to sit on his desk. “I don’t want the past distracting you right now. I know how you feel about her, and I know that—whatever differences I have with her—Shaelynn will get you through this alive. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be more scars when it’s all over. Tell me you didn’t… make a pass at her or anything like that.”

“Since when have I ever made a pass at anyone?”

“I’d say never, but you used to be a flirt before you got married,” Nora told him, and he almost shoved her off his desk for calling him that, of all things. She shook her head. “You used to be a lot more playful, and you were more willing to talk to people in a way that wasn’t all… practiced and polite and designed to get the information you needed as quickly as possible so you could send yet another satisfied client on their way.”

He grimaced. “I was not a flirt. That was not flirting. I was just teasing, trying to get along with people, make myself likeable with the others so that if something happened to Mom—and it was going to, I always knew it would—that we wouldn’t get kicked out right away.”

Nora frowned. “You didn’t really want to stay there, did you?”

He let out a breath. “No, but I didn’t think they’d let you go even if they got rid of me. You were slated for his twenty-first wife before Mom died, and I knew that all along. I just tried to keep myself there long enough to stop that.”

Nora shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’m never getting married.”

Nolan shrugged. He said the same thing himself, but then he didn’t necessarily want that for either of them. He did want to believe Nora would find a way to love someone besides him, to find a way to heal that didn’t involve a bank account, and that she’d get to have the sort of things they were supposed to have and never got because their mother was an addict. She was a good person, his sister, and she deserved to know love.

“What’s on the docket for today? I should know, but after the last three days of flipping the schedule around, I lost track.”

“You’re not really planning to work like this is business as usual, are you?”

“Why not?”

“Because your life has been threatened. Because someone from our very screwed up past is trying to kill you, and that’s not—you can’t just work like this is nothing.”

Nolan let out a breath. “I can’t do much about this but wait until they make another move. If it is someone from the cult, it’s not anyone that got out recently. That means… That means a bunch of people I don’t want to think about looking at. Shaelynn’s half-brothers and sisters or one of the wives—I always thought they were just… victims. I don’t want to think of them actually wanting me dead. I don’t want to go digging all that up for them again—I know it means my life, but those wounds aren’t worth reopening.”

“Even if it means your life?”

He closed his eyes. “You’ve seen Shaelynn. She was one of the ones that came out of that almost well-adjusted, and she’s still a mess. Why go dragging that up for all of those people when it probably has nothing to do with why someone wants me dead?”

Nora reached over and grabbed his tie, yanking him forward. “You can’t keep burying your head in the sand like this. You may not want this to be about the past, but it is. It’s about someone from that hell deciding it’s finally time to get revenge against you for ending it. Some of them wanted that life, don’t forget that. Some of them would love to torture you to death for ruining that. You’re a hero to most people, but that doesn’t change what you are to the others—a traitor. We were all afraid of what they did to the ‘unbelievers.’ Why would you think that they wouldn’t do worse to a traitor?”

He tried to keep himself from reacting to that. He’d lived with that fear for years now, and he was not going to let it rule him. “I don’t think it’s about the cult. I really don’t. I think they’re using the cult as a convenient cover, but it’s not and never was about that time.”

Nora gave him a long, hard look. “Then prove it.”


 

Shaelynn let the secretary lead her into the room, taking the seat she was offered. She liked Nolan’s office a lot better than this one—both catered to a similar class of clients, cultivating a certain level of sophistication and expectation, the entryways and offices decorated with carefully chosen expensive pieces. They were arranged just right, like they’d been posed for a painting or photo spread. The difference was that the photos were the most life these offices ever saw, whereas Nolan and Nora somehow managed to make their office like a home—warm, inviting, somehow informal despite the décor, and she supposed the fact that Nolan half-lived there helped it seem lived in and comfortable.

This place made her skin crawl. She was reminded of the things her father used to keep in his office, and that comparison made her sick.

“Ms. Danvers?”

Shaelynn nodded. She’d taken the name from one of Nolan’s comic books, and she knew better than that, but these people apparently didn’t. They’d fallen for her story and her identification, but then Nolan and Nora had been fooled by the guy they’d sent, so maybe fair was fair. She didn’t think Nolan was incompetent. Distracted, yes, and he was still recovering from being shot, so she could understand how he might have missed it if the guy was a good actor, and it looked like he was.

“What did you want to see me about?”

Shaelynn forced a smile. She thought she had a decent carrot to dangle in front of Cunningham, and she might just enjoy this, even if she disliked the way he looked at her. She was going to use that. She moved one leg over the other, letting her skirt fall back a little to expose more of her skin, and then she leaned forward, knowing he’d get a good look at something else when she did.

“I am hoping you can help me, Mr. Cunningham. I did try and get advice already, but that silly man seemed to think I didn’t have anything valid and—”

“What man?”

“Nolan Sheppard.”

“You went to Sheppard with this and he rejected you?”

“In a rather unpleasant way,” she agreed, shaking her head. “I hope you’re more willing to be open-minded. I didn’t think I had such a terrible request, but you’d have thought that I’d asked him to commit murder or something with the way he treated me.”

Cunningham grinned. She suppressed a shudder. He did remind her far too much of her father. He was old enough to be him, and yet he was looking at her the way her father used to look at his wives, even the younger ones. She refused to let that bother her. She’d known he would before she came. She’d planned on it. She’d been expected to use that against him from the beginning.

“Sheppard is, unfortunately, somewhat prejudiced. We here at Cunningham and Associates prefer to keep our options open. We have taken good care of many cases like yours—ones that Sheppard so foolishly rejected. Tell me more about what you need.”

“Well, that’s the trouble,” she said, trying for her best Nora. “I don’t know what I need. I thought that Sheppard would help me, but he didn’t.”

Cunningham smiled. “Well, then, let me see what I can do for you. I assume you have all the information you took to Sheppard?”

She reached over to pick up her briefcase. She pulled it into her lap. “I guess I was very confused. Do you think I need a lawyer and not a consultant? I figured a consultant was supposed to be the sort of man who would tell me whatever I needed to know to go forward.”

She felt like an idiot, even though she knew that she was doing this on purpose. Still, she hated herself for the way she was doing it. This was why she didn’t want to work with Nolan. He did this kind of talking all the time, wore all these pretenses—no, give her something straight up to fight. She preferred that to this kind of crap.

“Would you like an immediate answer?”

“No,” she said, throwing a bit of panic into her voice. “That’s what he did. Why don’t you take all the time you need? You can call me back when you find something. I think that’s better, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he said, reaching over to pat her hand. “I’ll give this all the attention it deserves. I think you might even want to think about lodging a complaint against Sheppard. I’ll help you take care of that if you like.”

She smiled. “Would you? I think that would be a good thing to do. Thanks.”

“Anything for a lovely young lady like you,” Cunningham said with a smile that made her shudder. She didn’t know how she managed to keep herself from showing it, but he didn’t seem to see it. He slipped the briefcase away from her. “Besides, Sheppard really doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s got no business being a consultant. No schooling, no training—he just trades on being a so-called hero, but he has no skill and no talent.”

“He didn’t say that he was a hero.”

“Yes, well, he plays at modesty, but I assure you it’s false,” Cunningham told her. “We’ll contact you soon, I promise.”

Shaelynn forced a smile as she stood, smoothing down her skirt. “Thank you, Mr. Cunningham. I do appreciate this.”

“Of course, Ms. Danvers. We’ll get this all sorted out for you.”

She nodded, knowing that Nolan would be angry when he found out she’d re-appropriated one of his cases for this. She had no doubt that he’d already given his clients a satisfactory answer, but she needed something that would seem convincing for Cunningham just as he’d had for Nolan when he tricked him.

“Thanks so much. Call me as soon as you know what I should do.”


 

“Cunningham is sleaze.”

“That surprises you?”

Shaelynn shook her head, yanking off her jacket and going around behind Nolan’s desk to the closet. She opened it and took out one of his shirts, pulling it on and buttoning it over the blouse that wasn’t much of a blouse. Nolan watched her with a frown, unsure how to react to any of this. He knew that she knew her way around his office, had for years now, and he also preferred not to have her as exposed as she had been a moment ago, but then again, he didn’t. The skirt was still a tease, and now that she was in one of his shirts… Someone shoot him.

He grimaced. That was not a thought he ever wanted to have.

Shaelynn came over and sat on his desk. “What about the lawyer? Did Nora send him over?”

“Why are you asking me and not her about that?” Nolan asked, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t talk to lawyers. They make my skin crawl, have ever since I first met Cyril. I suppose it didn’t help that he was spouting all that crap about Boath becoming our legal guardian with Mom’s marriage to him and…”

“And?”

Nolan rose and went over to the cupboard, opening up the bar. He typically kept it closed and told himself not to remember it was there, but he knew times when it was necessary—some consultations left a bad taste in his mouth, even if it was only for the initial part of it and he rejected taking them on, and some just plain ended badly, like life. He filled them both a glass and carried hers over to her.

“If there were legal adoption papers back then, then the reason that other lawyer said the marriage wasn’t legal doesn’t fly. They told us it wasn’t because we were underage and didn’t have the consent of our guardians—but if Boath had custody of me and you were his daughter…”

Shaelynn downed her drink in one shot. “No. You may not have thought about before, but if that were true, they wouldn’t have said that and—and we can confirm later that it wasn’t because there’s no way he had custody of you. It was never legal. I need another one of these.”

Nolan nodded. “Me, too.”

“You didn’t drink yours yet.”

He did, letting the burn be punishment for bringing that unpleasantness up. He crossed over to the decanter, bringing it back with him to her.

“You must have had that thought before.”

He shook his head. “Tried not to, just like you did. Can’t believe I brought it up.”

She took a swig right from the decanter and then held it as she looked at him. “Are you sure you don’t need the whole formal paperwork? I’m starting to think you do.”

He took the alcohol back, shaking his head. “I never said I did. I am well aware of the fact that things are over—that they were thirteen years ago. It’s just this stupid threat is mixing everything up, and Nora won’t stop arguing with me—she swears this is about the past, about someone from the cult being after me, and I don’t believe that it is.”

Shaelynn let out a breath. “I don’t want to believe that, either, and after my meeting with Cunningham, I’d like it to be him because he was a real sleaze—I’ve met sleaze before, but this guy was sleaze and he insulted you and then he didn’t have any interest in the case, just me. He was so patronizing and—he is not interested in hiring you. That is not what his takeover is about. For some reason, he is interested in destroying you. That doesn’t mean that he’s the one that wants you dead, though. I don’t think he is capable of doing anything this… organized.”

“You think this is organized?”

She pulled the decanter back out of his hands. He frowned. She took a drink before setting it down on the desk. “That magazine article was prepared at least a month ago. This means planning. A lot of it. They’ve been watching you for at least a little while—you sensed them at the restaurant and probably before then because you weren’t sleeping—but they used a very short window between when you started eating and when they disappeared from your senses to write that message on the car—unless, of course, there were two of them, one watching and the other working, which is possible. The message they left on the car was deliberate. Everyone thinks this is about the cult. People could be chasing their tails right now. Plus anyone could guess that something like that would—you have every reason to fear someone from the cult coming after you. You’ve known that for years. That fear could have debilitated someone else.”

He let out a breath. “I won’t pretend that the idea doesn’t bother me. I just have a hard time believing that’s all it is. I didn’t when I was just having trouble sleeping, and I don’t now.”

She took his hand. “I don’t want to accept that it’s just the cult, either, and since everyone is going to assume that, let the others investigate that angle. We can concentrate on the places that other people won’t think to look. That’s why I met with Cunningham. What did you today?”

“Argued with Nora, met with the people whose appointments I had to reschedule yesterday and the day before, tried to decide how I would prove that it wasn’t about the cult, paced the office for a while, and tried not to get into that bottle. You can see how well that worked, right?”

“Yeah.” She shook her head. “We need more than what we’ve got, Nolan. A lot more.”

“Oh, I have another decanter somewhere around here.”

She rolled her eyes. “I meant evidence of who is really behind this death threat and ways to keep investigating it. Cunningham was my best lead, and I feel like I came up empty.”

“We could go back to more of those files you flagged before.”

“You didn’t think it was them.”

“What else have we got?”

“Not much.” She grimaced. “Not anything. We may as well start with the files.”

He glanced at her skirt. “Not until you change.”


 

“I want to talk to her.”

“You are jealous.”

Shaelynn snorted. “You’re the one that brought up the marriage again and couldn’t handle me in a skirt. You’re the jealous one.”

“I’ve got nothing to be jealous about. You have no one in your life,” Nolan said, not looking up from his file, even when Nora glared death at him from the doorway. Shaelynn figured she was the cause of their tension again. Maybe Nora even had some stupid idea that all of this was her fault, that Nolan was under threat again because of her, but Nora had been the one to ask her back, and whatever this was had started before then. Shaelynn was certain of that, even if she knew little else about what was going on now.

“The lawyer said the magazine would like to do a retraction slash feature on you to make up for what they did print about you and using you on the cover without permission.”

“Absolutely not.” Nolan dropped his file onto the other seat. “I’d say we should sue them for that, but I’m not interested in that kind of ugly publicity. Did the lawyer get them to say how they thought that was okay? I dislike what they wrote about me, but who the hell does a cover with someone and doesn’t ask for permission?”

“Oh, that’s the interesting thing—they said they had it. That they contacted our office for an interview, which was declined, but a blurb was given as well as a picture. Since we have kept a tight lid on our press in the past, this didn’t raise any flags with anyone.”

Nolan shook his head. “That’s not possible. You are the press department, and you don’t give out blurbs. Or photos. Ever.”

“I said the same thing. They couldn’t possibly have gotten that from us or spoken to anyone here.”

“Unless someone used the office while you were on vacation,” Shaelynn said, and both of them looked at her. Nora’s look was pretty cold, but Nolan’s was troubled. His mind had taken that and started running, and she had to admit, she didn’t like the possibilities that she’d come up with, either.

“I would have been too… distracted to realize if anything had changed in the office by the time we got back,” Nolan admitted, rising. He started to pace a bit. “It’s not impossible that it could have happened, I guess. I didn’t get any sense of violation or that things were wrong here, but I couldn’t sleep so I wasn’t really functioning that well. It’s hard to say how much I could have missed then.”

Nora grimaced. “I thought a few papers were messed up, but I’d been arguing with Nolan before we left and just assumed that I left them out of place. Still—we have a security system here. A good one. An expensive one. It’s not all about what Nolan can do when he starts thinking in that old training of his. That system gives us alerts no matter where we are. There was no activity while we were gone.”

“Not even the mailman?”

“It’s called premium forwarding. I paid them to send our mail on to where we were staying while we were on vacation. It’s not that expensive, and we do have a business to run.”

Shaelynn frowned. “I thought they only did that if you moved.”

“No, it doesn’t have to be permanent. That’s the whole point of the service. It’s better than having the mail held.”

“Can we go back to the fact that we think someone might have broken into the office?” Nolan asked, getting both of them to look at him this time. “We don’t know what else they might have done if they were able to get in. If we’re going to get that kind of paranoid, maybe we have to take this whole thing a step forward and start thinking listening devices and cameras and who knows what the hell else. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t sleep. Maybe that was all there and I knew it but didn’t know what I knew.”

“I think you need a moment to calm down,” Nora told him. “You’re getting worse than Ambrose.”

Nolan shuddered. Shaelynn grimaced. “As unpleasant as the thought is, we have to assume the worst and act accordingly. We should go, now, since if anyone is listening, they know we know. there’s no point in trying not to tip them off. We’ll get someone in to sweep the place, but this conversation needs to stop. Now.”

“Ah, now if I was the good soldier I was supposed to be, I’d have stopped myself from saying any of that aloud,” Nolan said, shaking his head in disgust, and Shaelynn crossed over to touch his arm. He gave her a look, and she didn’t say anything, but she figured he knew what she meant by that. She didn’t think letting people believe they weren’t aware of the listen device really worked anywhere outside of Hollywood. If the office had been bugged, whoever was on the other end had known they’d come to that conclusion as soon as they started discussing the possible break-in.

“Let’s just go,” Nora muttered, frustrated.

Nolan started to leave, but his phone buzzed, and he cursed, dragging it out. He checked the message, his skin losing some of its color. Shaelynn frowned, looking down at the screen.

“That’s Creamsicle.”

Nolan nodded. “That bastard has been—or is, right now—in my apartment.”


“We already called the police,” Nolan reminded Shaelynn as she almost clipped another car when she sped around it. He leaned over and tried to look at the speedometer, but her arm was in the way.

“Since when do you leave everything to the police, Nolan?”

He shrugged. He had, more and more, since he started working as a consultant. He was able to pick up on things that he shouldn’t, things that were illegal, but he hadn’t seen the need to go all vigilante and handle them himself, even if he could have.

“I was never a hero,” he reminded her. “I only did what I did back then for the three of us. If I was going to be a cop’s work, I would have gone for the actual badge. I didn’t.”

She nodded, but that didn’t stop her from almost swiping an expensive sports car. A horn blared, but that and Nora’s curse were just bonus points right now. Shaelynn was kind of a crazy driver to begin with—the open road and freedom had always called to her since that day they first escaped, and a part of him figured she had that thought that she could somehow drive far enough away to free herself from the past, too.

“You are going to slow down before we get close to my apartment building, right? You do realize there will be cops there, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” she snapped, and he gave her a look. She took her foot off the gas, but still turned the corner fast enough to make the tires squeal a little. She grimaced. “Stupid rental.”

“I told you I’d buy you a good one.”

“And I told you no.”

Nora reached forward and smacked him. He looked at her and shrugged. He wasn’t above bribery—but Shaelynn was. He couldn’t coax her into staying with anything material. No, he didn’t think he could get her to stay with anything he had—words, promises, money… None of that would be enough, not even in combination.

She pulled into the parking structure next to his building, right into his spot, and he said nothing as he reached for the door handle. His car was still impounded, and the fact was that none of them would be staying here tonight. They’d have to find a hotel that took cats—assuming his were still okay; he hadn’t seen the creep do anything to them on the video that he’d sent, but he wouldn’t know until he got into his apartment again.

If this guy had done anything to his cats…

He shook his head, mouth in a tight line as they walked into the building. The uniformed officer in the lobby stopped them as soon as they got in the door.

“Hold on. There was a break-in upstairs, and we need to—”

“Yeah, that was my apartment,” Nolan said, taking out his wallet and flipping it open to his id. “Is it still off limits or can I go up and see if anything’s missing?”

“Let me check,” the kid said, turning away to talk into his radio. Nolan rubbed his forehead. He hated this.

“Nora,” Shaelynn said, turning toward her. “Did you have anyone look at your apartment?”

“I don’t have any proof that it got broken into, but I’ll have it swept after the office,” she said, shaking her head and shuddering. Nolan pulled his sister close to him. For her, having her apartment broken into would be the almost the worst kind of violation. That place was safety and a lot more to her. The possessions that passed for her soul were there, and he knew she couldn’t stand having that taken from her, having those things touched by someone else—he didn’t even go there, that was how private her sanctuary was.

“We’ll get whoever did this.”

“That won’t change much,” Nora said. “If he was in your apartment, in mine—what the hell is safe anymore, Nolan?”

“Places never were,” he reminded her. “It was always people for us, and that’s what we still have. You, me, and Shaelynn.”

The two women snorted almost in tandem, neither of them liking that idea much.

The cop came back over to them. “The lieutenant said to go on up.”

“Lieutenant? Since when do I rate that for a break-in?”

“Maybe since you got a death threat yesterday?” Nora said, shaking her head before stabbing the button for the elevator.

Nolan grit his teeth as elevator doors opened. He stepped inside and pushed the button for his floor. “That was vandalism, and it only said ‘traitor,’ not ‘we’re going to kill you.’”

“If it was from someone in the cult, it was a death threat,” Shaelynn said, leaning against the wall and tapping her fingers against it as the elevator door shut behind Nora. His sister glared at her, but Shaelynn didn’t stop even when the elevator started to rise.

“I thought we agreed it wasn’t from them.”

“No, we agreed we were going to look for the less obvious possibilities,” Shaelynn said, and he glared at her himself that time.

The elevator stopped, and Nolan exited onto his floor to be confronted by another policeman, this one in a suit—a cheap suit—and he really wanted to curse. “I take it you’re the lieutenant that’s in charge of this?”

The other man nodded. “Got the call when someone noticed the connection between this break-in and the vandalism yesterday.”

“Apparently someone doesn’t like me.”

“I’d say a lot of someones,” the lieutenant said, and Nolan had no choice but to nod. He had enemies. He just thought most of them were still in jail.

“Did that creep do anything here? Vandalism? What about the cats? Nolan had four. If any of them are missing or dead—”

“Pretty sure we counted four, and they’re all alive.”

“That’s good. Otherwise I might have had to shoot someone,” Shaelynn said, moving past the cop and into the doorway of the apartment. The lieutenant frowned at her.

“My bodyguard,” Nolan said with a slight smile.

“Lucky man.”

“Not really.”

“Creamsicle,” Shaelynn said, kneeling down to pick him up and cradle him in her hands. He bumped his nose against her cheek, and she smiled as he started to purr. “I swear, if that bastard had done anything to you…”

Creamsicle mewed like he understood, purring louder than before.

“You’re going to lose a cat, too, when she goes this time,” Nora muttered, and Nolan glared at her, but he knew she was right. That kitten was Shaelynn’s, not his. He wouldn’t be able to keep either of them.


Short and Not Really Sweet Nano…

Author’s Note: So my word count is officially over 25,000. It took me most of the day to get writing on this again. It was my plan to only work on this today, but inspiration was hitting me in full force for the other one, and there was a bunch of sidetracking into edits, too.

So… Now I roll in with a day of only 929 words, and I’m fading fast before ten o’clock. This is not me.

I will probably wake up in the middle of the night or something, but I apparently can’t keep my eyes open.


Not Exactly the Way to Wake up Rested and Refreshed

Shaelynn’s eyes opened, and she sat up a moment later, her body reacting almost faster than her mind. She reached under the bed for her gun, swallowing and trying not to let the adrenaline that had gotten her awake rule everything. Just because she was alone after Nolan specifically requested the snuggly toy and she had spent half the night not asleep because he was using her as that snuggly toy did not mean that anything terrible had happened.

She would have woken if something went wrong. She’d been asleep next to him, and if someone had tried to do anything to him in the night, she would have heard. She would have woken if they came into the apartment—or at least if they’d come into the room.

Nolan’s cats would have reacted to a stranger, wouldn’t they? They seemed to like her, but that didn’t mean they liked everyone. A couple of them had only tolerated her because she was here with him. They didn’t come around when she was by herself.

She put her feet on the floor, wondering if the cat’s were his reason for having this place all carpeted when the office had beautiful hardwood floors. She could have blamed that on Nora’s sense of style, but the sound of people’s shoes would have driven him crazy long ago and he would have had the floors replaced by now if he really didn’t like them.

She lifted the gun in front of her, telling herself she was an over-paranoid idiot as she walked into the next room. She didn’t have to do this. Nolan was fine. He was bound to be in the kitchen making his coffee on the stove, talking to one of his cats.

She studied the front room, glaring at the empty furniture before she turned toward the kitchen. The last few steps she took a bit rushed, ready to find him and end this. She didn’t want to let her training and past get the better of her.

“Damn it.”

The kitchen was empty, not even cats waited for their owner on the counters or the floor. The stove was off, and the same dishes were in the sink as had been the day before. That feeling she’d woken up with was a hell of a lot worse now.

“I almost thought you were kidding about being my bodyguard.”

She forced herself not to whirl around when she heard Nolan’s voice. “You weren’t there when I woke up.”

“I do have things to do today. People want to kill me. I think I’m a bit concerned with trying to stop them.”

Lowering the gun, she faced him. Her prepared lecture died on her lips, and she told herself not to stare, but it was the first time that she’d seen him without a shirt since he got shot. “Those aren’t worms.”

“What?”

“Your chest, Nolan. Those are not worms,” she said, gesturing to the scars with the gun before she cursed herself. Making sure the safety was on, she set it down on the table. She should dress and put it away properly, but she needed a minute. Her body was still all keyed up from finding him gone, and seeing those scars had not helped. All she could think about now was how he’d been shot, how close that one bullet must have been to his heart.

“Sure they are,” he said, crossing over to pick up the gun. “That one’s new.”

She shrugged. “One of my fellow cubicle slaves figured on proving his masculinity with a gun. He and a couple other idiots organized a contest over at the local shooting range. We women were invited to be awed, and they all thought it was funny when I said I’d only go if I got a chance to shoot. They said I could try the contest in a very patronizing way.”

“Idiots. I take it this was the prize?”

“Yes. I hate them, but they’d been talked into the right kind of gun,” she said, smiling a little. “How’d you know I won?”

Nolan gave her a look. “Please. Like you weren’t the highest ranked marksman in the cult, second only to Ambrose and only because he wouldn’t accept that he wasn’t the best.”

She reached over, taking the gun back. “Does it bother you that you came in third?”

“No. I never wanted to be good at it.”

She nodded, putting the gun out of his reach. He frowned, but then she put a finger to the scar, and he almost jumped away from her. She caught his arm and continued her exploration of the marks. She didn’t know why he’d chosen worms for them. Worms would have been softer, smoother, less jagged and dangerous. She had been told what had happened, she’d seen him while he recovered, but it hadn’t felt that real until now.

“I think the worms are going to mistake those fingers of yours for food.”

“Stop making jokes. You almost died. This mark here—”

“I am fine. All recovered and better now. I’m sure you can see that. The towel’s nice and long, but it still doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination.”

“You’re still wet,” she told him, shaking herself out of whatever mood that had been. “You should finish drying off.”

He took her hand. “It’s not as bad as it looks. The scars are ugly, but I’m fine. I’m not dead.”

“No, you’re not,” she agreed, meeting his eyes. “And that is how it is going to stay.”


Going Forward and Then Backward in Nano

Author’s Note: Today I woke with a sore neck, which kind of threw off my day. I didn’t get started on writing right away, and when I did, it was a side funny scene/flashback that might have no place in the collaboration. I tried to do a meaningful back story piece after that, but I didn’t like it, so I cut it. Then I wrote a couple more pieces, and trying to get two taciturn types talking about meaningful things… Yeah. That was interesting.

So then it was rather late when I tried to shift gears from one story to the other and pick up where I’d left off. It didn’t really happen, not at first.

I just started writing to write something, and I ended up with a piece that wanted to kill the whole story. Then it was pointed out to me what needed to be done, and I decided backtracking was in order. So I went back. Midway through backtracking, about ten fifty or so tonight, I realized: I know what it’s all about. I know who’s after Nolan and why.

And that was a relief, I have to say.


Back to Teasing and Snuggly Toys

He wasn’t dead.

Not yet, anyway. He was still struggling to understand why this was all coming up now—it would have made more sense if he’d been dealing with all this before he got shot, maybe even right after, when he’d been at his most vulnerable—physically speaking, that was, there were lots of times when he’d been emotionally vulnerable, where he’d been kicked when he was down—but now? Other than the possibility of a takeover, things were stable. The firm was doing well, they had plenty of satisfied clients, and he’d recovered from his wounds. They’d taken a vacation and enjoyed themselves without any adverse effects, and it didn’t make sense that someone would target him now.

He’d gone through his records again while Shaelynn was contemplating killing him for the Grable comparison, not finding any notification from any penal system that someone he should be worried about had been released. None of the cult members who’d been arrested had managed to get out yet—it would seem they remained true believers and seemed like threats to the community because at least a couple of them had qualified for parole—not in Nolan’s opinion but in the court’s—yet they hadn’t gotten it.

Nora wouldn’t have kept something like that from him—she was already worried before this threat showed up, and if she’d seen release paperwork, she’d have gone into a full panic. No, it hadn’t been something either of them had overlooked.

“We can contact whoever we need to and make sure that they’re all still in there,” Shaelynn said, leaning over his shoulder. He tried not to flinch. He didn’t like being watched, and her father had an extremely creepy way of walking up behind everyone like that. He’d never pointed out that she did the same thing because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but he should have—she would have stopped doing it long before this.

“Going to have to, though if the cops are that intent on investigating what happened to my car, they’ll do the same,” he said. He let out a breath. “I don’t know. Maybe I should have gone into law enforcement. I’d have more resources of my own.”

“You seem to do all right most times.”

“Most times, it isn’t a matter of life or death—and it’s never about me,” he said, and she put her hand on his shoulder. He reached up to squeeze it. “I don’t know that I was ever good at that whole compartmentalization thing that people in those fields do. I can’t always shut it out, can’t keep focused on the task at hand. The mission. Whatever it is. I can’t do this with my own life being threatened. It should be easier than this. I never thought I cared about it that much.”

“Don’t ever say that in front of your sister.”

Nolan shrugged. He didn’t say a lot of things in front of Nora. Shaelynn knew him better than that, better than his sister or anyone else in the world. Some might say she had the right to, given what they’d gone through, but it wasn’t just that—he was comfortable enough with her to slip over and over again into old patterns—to where he felt like he could tell her anything.

“You do compartmentalize more than you realize,” she told him. “That way you shed skins—personalities—one minute high priced consultant the next a rebel waiting for a cause then over to a stand up comic—you have acts that deal with the moment, and maybe they’re not compartments for the big picture, but they work.”

He grimaced. “I don’t think I like that assessment.”

“That’s because you’re working without any of those pretenses at the moment. You’re vulnerable without one, and you hate that, but you can get through this without one.”

“I think we’ve said enough about this subject,” Nolan said, running a hand over his face. “What else can be done before morning or someone calls us back?”

“I was considering taking a visit to the source—the man who is trying for the takeover—but that’s something that I’ll do in the morning. Did Nora say she’d figured out the lawyer she wants to use against the magazine?”

“I told her we’re not suing.”

Shaelynn rolled her eyes. “I know you’re not. That would just fuel the fire you didn’t want burning in the first place. That’s not what I meant. I figure the threat of the suit is all you need. Your lawyer rattles the magazine’s cages, and we see what scurries out. There are libel laws for a reason.”

“They didn’t actually say anything bad about me or the firm. Nora was right—they didn’t say much about me at all. Just that one paragraph near the middle of the article,” Nolan said. He’d just about memorized it by now.

Many consultants have a list of diplomas and an area of expertise. Some of them are more self-taught and less specialized. Nolan Sheppard, founder of the firm Sheppard and Sheppard, featured on the cover, has done work across a variety of fields and doesn’t boast the same amount of degrees as most of his competition. He brought with him a reputation forged in fire—as a teen, he led a group of children to escape from a cult, and that same determination and ingenuity now guides him in the corporate world.

“I think they almost insulted you by suggesting you weren’t as good because you didn’t go to school for this crap.”

Nolan snorted. “Oh, I went to a school for this crap. It’s just that most people call it a cult.”


“We’ve done everything we can for the night,” Shaelynn said, nudging Nolan and trying to get him out of his seat. He’d been in a mood since they got back, and she couldn’t fault him for it, but she also couldn’t let him start avoiding sleep again. He would have a hard time doing it with all that had happened—that feeling at lunch, the vandalism to his car, the threat, the magazine, and all the memories this was digging up for him. “Come on. You need to give this up and get some rest. You may as well let sleep take care of those last few hours before we can do the real work.”

He looked up at her. “I think I’d rather pass. I know I’m trying to get back on a sleep schedule, but I don’t feel like waking up screaming tonight—and you’d hate it if I did that to you again—so we’ll spare both of us the trouble, and I will just not bother tonight.”

“Not an option.”

He studied her for a long moment, and then his lips split into a wide, devious grin. “Does that mean I get to have the snuggly toy?”

She stared at him for a long moment. She knew he was kidding—the smirk assured of that—but she couldn’t believe he’d asked her that. They were well past those days, and he shouldn’t have brought it up again after that thing with Shaw.

“No.”

Nolan shook his head. “Then forget it. There’s no way I’m going to sleep now. We know someone’s really after me. This isn’t paranoia anymore. It’s not PTSD. It’s not something in my head. It’s not me cracking under pressure or something. Someone set me up. They got my picture in a national magazine. Someone—possibly a different someone—vandalized my car. It looks like it should be something from my past—a past we both know was hell. It’s looking a lot like someone wants me dead, and how exactly do you expect me to sleep with those thoughts going around in my head?”

She didn’t know. She couldn’t really think of why he might be able to, not when she hadn’t figured she’d get any sleep, and it wasn’t her life that had been threatened. This was Nolan, though, and he was just about all she had. She was worried—but she was also determined not to let whoever it was that wanted him get anywhere near him.

Nolan was not dying. That was not going to happen.

“Why do you have four cats if not to make one of them the snuggly toy?”

“They make excellent purrboxes,” he said, and she gave him a look. That had come to him way too fast, and he was a bit too smug about it, too. “They’re soft and fluffy and cute. They purr, and that can make this place seem less empty. They’re not the same as what I used to have, though.”

She grimaced. “I’m not a ‘purrbox.’ You can’t compare me to the cats. Or to what Nora used to have when you were kids.”

“I would never do that,” Nolan said, a look in his eyes that she wanted to ignore. That one was too close to too much. “You were my best friend. My safety and my security. Nothing has ever given me that feeling since you left.”

“Ambrose would tell you that was what your gun was for.”

Nolan’s eyes darkened, but he didn’t flinch. He shrugged. “Yeah, well, I tried sleeping with a gun again for a while. It didn’t help.”

She felt her stomach twist. Nolan didn’t do that. That wasn’t who he was. He’d hated his gun. The only reason he’d slept with one nearby was because of her. “Damn it.”

“I was willing to try anything before Nora called you,” he admitted. “That wasn’t a solution, and I’m glad it wasn’t. I don’t think I want to become that person.”

She sometimes wished she wasn’t. “I still have a permit to carry concealed.”

“He damaged you more than he did me,” Nolan said, and she frowned. He laughed. “Did you honestly think I didn’t know? You didn’t carry it yesterday or today, not when the threat wasn’t obvious, but you went for it after we got back here. You’ve got it now. It’s habit. It’s comfort. I wasn’t going to take that from you.”

She closed her eyes. “Sometimes I wish I’d been more like you, able to resist all this crap.”

“I don’t think you want to be like me,” he said. “We both broke back then—don’t tell Nora I said that; I told her earlier that I didn’t break—but we did it in different ways.”

“I hate him so much, Nolan.”

“Me, too.” He wrapped his arms around her. She should shove him away, but sometimes this was nice and worth allowing herself the moment of weakness. “Can I please have the snuggly toy tonight?”

She didn’t think she’d get any sleep if she didn’t agree, and they both needed to be ready for the morning. She would have thought about enforcing shifts for sleep, but Nolan had to be rested. Someone could use that distraction against him—she had—and that was dangerous. No, she was going to get him through the night—and she’d save him tomorrow.

“Fine. You get the snuggly toy.”


When in Doubt, Toss a Reference into Nano…

Author’s Note: So I don’t talk much about my other job. I don’t really want to get fired.

That said, it had a real impact on my productivity today. I wouldn’t even care so much about the shift itself if it wasn’t for the the drain of my emotional and mental faculties.

Yet… I managed 2,039 words… Mostly because I got a bit reference silly at the end of the second scene. I’m tired and brain dead. I might have gotten a bit silly/loopy.


Nolan Gets an Unpleasant Surprise

“You still want to say this has nothing to do with our past?”

Nolan studied the ugly red-orange paint that marked his car in seven hateful letters almost seared on the side of it, the anger of the writer visible in every line. He wasn’t sure if he was staring at it to try and make the paint and word disappear or if he was trying to convince himself it said something else, or if he just needed time to accept that it was what he thought he saw.

Nora’s words would make it that. Shaelynn hadn’t said anything, not since she joined him in staring at the word. In a way, it accused her, too, but he didn’t think they’d be after her, not here. She didn’t live here, she didn’t work here, and she was only standing by him because Nora somehow managed to convince her that Nolan needed her.

He swallowed, his eyes going to Shaelynn. “You… You didn’t think it was about the past, did you?”

“Would she really have told you if she did?” Nora asked, and he glared at his sister. She shrugged, unrepentant.

Shaelynn shook her head. “Cyril told me no one was interested. I accepted that for what it was and focused my efforts elsewhere. I thought the past was a distraction, nothing more. It’s hard not to jump to the conclusion that it was about that all along, but we still don’t know that it is.”

Nora snorted, pointing over at the car. “They painted traitor on his car, Shaelynn. How can you say that has nothing to do with the past? Someone’s sentence must be up, and they’re finally free to come after him.”

“Cyril said my father gave orders not to go after Nolan. He… Boath still thinks he can bring Nolan back into the fold.”

That twisted his stomach up, making him want to vomit. That wasn’t happening, now or ever. “He’s an idiot. I was never part of the fold. I don’t really want to think about what kind of prophecy he’d tangle up to make it seem like it was all supposed to be like that, or what he might paint me as if he got his hands on me again, but he is not getting me back into that hellhole.”

“The hellhole doesn’t exist,” Shaelynn said, letting out a breath. “It was basically razed when the feds arrested everyone, remember?”

“Mr. Sheppard?”

Nolan turned toward the cop who’d spoken, forcing a smile. “Did you need anything else from us? Statements—did that. Fingerprints for elimination, maybe?”

“They want to take the car in to do some testing.”

“I didn’t know I ranked high enough to get forensics done on a bit of vandalism,” he said, frowning. That didn’t quite make sense. He could see the fingerprint comparison, maybe, but to have the paint chips analyzed or anything else—that had to be wrong, didn’t it? “Has there been a lot of vandalism in the area?”

“Or is there something worse like a bomb on the car or something?” Nora demanded. “Did they try and kill him, too?”

Nolan shook his head. “Nora, there’s no point in coming after me now. Even if one of Boath’s lieutenants got out, he’s still in there and won’t get out before he dies. They can’t rebuild his sick little empire, and trying to get me is stupid—he brought that whole thing on himself by ‘marrying’ all those underage girls and ‘dealing’ with unbelievers.”

“Still,” the cop said. “You are that Nolan Sheppard. There really could be people after you. This could be a lot worse than a word on your car.”

“Maybe, if I’d gotten other threats or if it was actually confirmed that one of them was out. I should have been notified if they were, and so at this point, we’re looking at a weird conspiracy where Ambrose or Coman isn’t dead, and yeah, that’s not something I’ll buy.”

Shaelynn almost suppressed a shudder. “That’s not possible.”

He wasn’t going to argue with that, though Nora looked like she might. He didn’t believe the feds would have lied about that, and he didn’t think either Ambrose or Coman would have ever cooperated with the authorities, which was about the only way that he could see the feds being willing to say they were dead if they were could have happened. Besides, why would the feds need more than what they had? The testimony of the women—the girls, mostly—that had been there and even the children was pretty much enough on its own. Nolan’s part in trial had been pretty small, truthfully, and he didn’t think that what he’d gone through had half as much merit as the story of even one of Boath’s wives.

“Since when am I a notable figure again?”

“That was what I came to tell you about,” Nora said. She shook her head. “They can’t quite smear campaign you, but those people who want to take your company? I’m pretty sure they’re the ones behind this article.”

Nolan took the magazine she held out to him. “How could these people do a profile on us without talking to us?”

“We’re a bit of a footnote in the actual article.”

“That doesn’t really matter when they put Nolan’s face on the damned cover,” Shaelynn said. He met her eyes, and she let out a breath. “Cyril told me no one knew where you were. Now they do. These people just made you a target.”


“You haven’t said anything since we left your car behind.”

Nolan shrugged, not lifting his eyes from his window. Shaelynn didn’t mind the window-gazing so much—she did it herself, often—but she did have an issue with him ignoring all of his cats. Even Patchwork had come out of hiding to try and comfort him, but he hadn’t seemed to notice or care that they were mewing at him or swatting his pants.

This was what would have worried her if she’d been the one needing to make the call, but Nora had seen something even before he hit this point. Of course, they had more reason for concern now. They all tried not to think about it, but there were plenty of people that wanted Nolan dead. Some of the wives had been true believers, some broke and went crazy when they were with Boath, some had Stockholm syndrome, and they weren’t happy about their husband or prophet being locked away. Then there was the army that Boath was creating and some of his children—Shaelynn’s half-brothers or sisters that were just as dangerous as the adults if not more so.

She knew it was too easy to believe that the remnants of the cult would want Nolan dead. That was why she’d called Cyril first. She hadn’t entirely ruled out that as a possibility, but she had wanted to believe this was about a hostile takeover and not something from their past. She was no more ready to confront that than he was.

“Did you like it?”

“What?”

“Your car. Some people get quite attached to them, you know. They name them, treat them like children or members of the family, that sort of thing.”

“It was functional,” he said, shrugging again. “It never mattered more than that. I never found it easy to be attached to objects, you know. Growing up in the tenement, we never had a lot, and so I made do with out it. Anything that could be sold usually was, so it was better not to be attached at all. Then in the cult, you didn’t get a lot in the way of material possessions unless you were Boath or one of his favorites, and I wasn’t a good enough liar to be one of them. Nora pulls in possessions like threads, the ones she thinks will sew up the broken places in her soul, but me? I’m well-beyond those kinds of band-aids, and I can’t get myself to believe in them.”

She nodded. She’d never had much growing up, and she’d found herself sticking to that sort of sparse lifestyle years after their escape. “So Nora picked the car.”

“It went with the firm’s image. I honestly didn’t care what I drove.”

“I think you need someone else to help you pick. You could get attached to something more suited to you and not to the image the firm supposedly needs.”

His eyes met hers in the reflection of the glass. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t feel like getting attached to anything.”

“It doesn’t always get taken from you.”

“No, sometimes it leaves.”

She frowned. “This about me leaving again? How much resentment have you been bottling up over that, anyway? How long have you hated me for it?”

“Oh, too long. Thirteen years, off and on,” he said, reaching up to rub his neck. He tried to stretch and groaned when he hit some of his tense muscles. “Damn.”

“What? You didn’t want to admit that? It’s past time it’s out, isn’t it?”

He snorted. “Is this because you think that I should be confessing before my time is over? I’ve been set out as bait, offered up on a platter—probably because someone wants my company, and they’re not shy about how they get it, but maybe someone there doesn’t really want me with it, they just want me dead. It would be easy to get rid of me if the right people knew where I was. I know I’m not exactly hiding, but I didn’t go advertising it, either. Taking back the name I was born with instead of the name Boath tried to give us when he married Mom was supposed to help with that.”

“I don’t expect you to confess, and it makes me angry—the idea of anyone stringing you out there like that—” She bit that off, uncurled her fists. “You already went through enough crap in your life, and they don’t get to screw with the one thing in your life that went right.”

“Thirty years and all I’ve got is a consulting firm. It’s a wonderful thing to show for my life,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Come on, Nolan. Most people would be envious of what you built from scratch, and it is a good firm, so much so that someone wants to take it from you by force. They’re that jealous or that scared. Take your pick. You have good in your life, you know.”

“I never thought I didn’t. I just—I really wanted the one thing in my life that went right to be something a lot different.”

She let out a breath. Sometimes she wondered about him, about what he’d be if he hadn’t gotten stuck in the life he had. All that kindness and vulnerability that he hid in acts and obscured with sarcasm or deflected with self-depreciation, the fact that he was just so fundamentally good—he should have been out there running a charity or being a teacher or something that gave back, something that didn’t keep him at a distance and never getting attached. He would have that so-called American dream. He’d have a house and kids… and a real wife.

“I need a key to your place,” she said, and he frowned at her. She met his gaze, keeping her eyes hard until he stopped looking confused. “I’m staying here, remember? You’re going to have to put up with me—and you might even have to consider me your bodyguard.”

“Can I call you Betty?”

She gave him a look. “That depends entirely on the Betty you mean.”

“If I say Boop, will you do their work for them?”

“Yes.”

“Then I didn’t say Boop.”

“Nolan—”

“Grable! I’m saying Grable,” he said, and Shaelynn found herself frowning for a different reason. Who the hell was Betty Grable? She knew of a few Betties—well, too, Bette Davis and that Betty from the comic book, and Betty Boop, but Grable wasn’t on that list.

“What did this Betty do?”

“Well, she had nice legs… and so do you.”

“You’re still a dead man.”


Nano Hits a Possible Block…

Author’s Note: So today I thought I had a good handle on where to go. Nolan’s argument with Nora led into Shaelynn’s return, and then they were eating lunch.

Well, the lunch scene got weird, the scene afterward had them arguing, and then I got almost stuck. Okay, I got stuck. So I wrote a flashback that I’d told myself I wasn’t going to write because I’d told myself scenes from their childhood were forbidden as it was a very messed up one, and even though that moment’s not all that messed up, it’s kind of cute, I didn’t want to write it.

I did.

Now I’m stuck again. I’m ahead of the recommended schedule with Nano, but I’m going to need something to get unstuck soon, or I’ll be in trouble.


To the Stumbling Block

“And we’ll wrap this up next week,” Nolan said, opening the door to the office a moment before Shaelynn was about to reach for it. She stepped back, letting his clients pass, trying to tell herself she didn’t care what he’d been discussing with them. Whatever he did when he consulted was his business, not hers. She wasn’t a part of the firm—she wasn’t going to be, either, all teasing aside.

He looked her over and laughed, getting his clients to look back, but he gave them a reassuring smile and wave before drawing her inside the office by the arm. “You know, I know you know how to dress like you belong here—as a client or an employee—and yet I think you’re doing this on purpose just to see my reaction.”

She glanced at her jeans and back at him. “If I was going to do that, I’d have an I’m with Stupid shirt to wear every time I was in your office.”

“I’ll buy you one.”

“I think you’re doing enough for her already,” Nora said, glaring out at them from her doorway, and Shaelynn frowned. She knew her relationship with Nora was not the greatest—they’d agreed to tolerate each other back when she’d been “married” to Nolan because they had to get along—and they would never be friends—their interests were too different, and their personalities didn’t mesh well, but she hadn’t thought the whole key prank would upset the other woman that much. She used to mess with Nolan all the time with things like that when they were younger, before, during, and after their “marriage.”

“Nora thinks I should charge rent,” Nolan said, though the glare he sent his sister’s way counteracted the easy tone of his joke. He held out a hand. “My keys?”

“You’re slipping.”

He nodded. “I noticed. Not comfortable with it, but it happens. I suppose I haven’t been myself since I got shot. I didn’t realize how far that went. Thought I had. Haven’t. I don’t know, though, is it really bad to lose all that tension and paranoia I used to live with? I spent my childhood worrying about Mom—her drugs, her drug dealer, her ‘clients’—and then I got to worry about Ambrose trying to kill me with each training session, Boath throwing Mom out or deciding Nora was old enough to be a bride, had to live with the fear that I couldn’t fake my ‘faith’ enough to survive, and then I got to worry about all it meant to be the head of one of the ‘houses’—oh, and they married me off so I had to remember that my actions affected you, too—”

“And you were only a kid. You didn’t deserve that,” Nora said. Her eyes went to Shaelynn, and she stiffened—was it time to get accused of being a part of her father’s sickness? To be judged for his sins?

“We were never children,” she said, quiet but not pulling back that punch. She didn’t care how much she upset Nora now. That had always been Nolan’s fear, not hers. Shaelynn should probably admit it—half the reason she didn’t get along with Nora was that Nolan had protected her from all of it. She was still able to be a child, to carry some innocence out of there, and her brother had traded his for it in more ways than Nora seemed to realize. He’d been turned into a soldier and a patriarch and they’d wanted him to be a father all before he turned eighteen, not that their mother was any better in making her son the most responsible one in their house at—what, six? Yeah, Shaelynn was pretty sure it was six—making him the one that had to find a way to feed them, to keep the house clean, to keep her alive, and to stop the creeps she let in their house from doing anything to either him or his sister. No, Nolan’s childhood had died before his mother ever met her father.

“What are you talking about?” Nolan asked and then snorted. “I’m still a child.”

His words managed to make them all laugh, and the tension of the moment passed. He lifted up his keys with a grin, tossing them in the air, and catching them with one of his smug grins. “Got it back.”

She nodded. He was more like himself now, yes, and not just because he’d managed to get his keys out of her pocket without her noticing. Times like this, she wanted to forget all of the parts of the past that were warped almost beyond belief and just be… them. She had no desire to try and raise a sunken ship, but she sometimes thought she wanted all the things that her childhood had denied her and that he almost stood for—family and friends and all that came with having those things.

She was raised a soldier. What did she need stupid things like hugs for, anyway? She wasn’t about to give him one now.

“I think it’s lunch time.”

“I know you think with your stomach,” she told him, “but don’t you think it’s still a bit early for lunch? It was only nine when I left to go to the hotel.”

“Yes, but you took the time to shower and change and move your things across town, and I had two meetings, a shower, and a fight with Nora in the meantime. It’s lunch time,” he said. “Though I think if I went to my usual lunch hangout, they’d kick you right out the door with a laugh. Not a jeans joint, that one.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Whatever happened to yours? The suit thing—it doesn’t work for you.”

He glanced down at his suit, lifting up his tie. “You don’t think I look good? I paid a lot of money for this suit. It was not off-the-rack, and it was not on sale, but I was told I looked good.”

“By a salesgirl with a cute smile who wanted a quick commission.”

“Actually, the salesgirl was a salesman,” he corrected. Then he grinned. “My last girlfriend liked it a lot. Made me wonder if she had some kind of condition that made her drool like that…”

Shaelynn rolled her eyes. “No woman would drool over you.”

“That,” he said, getting into her personal space and making her tense, old muscle memories fighting to surface and react, ready to make him pay for the implied threat, “is what you say. I’ll have you know that there are plenty of women that find me very attractive.”

“Then why are you still single?”

“Oh, that,” he stepped back and shrugged. “The cats didn’t like them.”


Nolan knew something was wrong about two bites into his lunch. He’d ordered his usual, his favorite, and it was just as good as always, so it wasn’t the food. He set down his food, took a drink of his water, and frowned. Something was off—not the lights, they seemed to be about the usual for this place, though he wasn’t quite sure about that since he’d never memorized the lighting scheme or the ambiance. He just knew it was comfortable, and he’d been trying to untrain himself from obsessive surveillance of his surroundings. He hadn’t needed to learn every detail of the places he went—he wanted to be able to have things to notice when he visited somewhere for the second or third time, he wanted to be surprised by things instead of worrying about the possible outcomes of every possible contingency.

He was just a man. He hadn’t been able to be a child, but he was going to enjoy himself at least a little. Comics, cats, cartoons—he was going to have as much of those as he wanted, and he was also going to enjoy dining out without looking for threats.

He saw Shaelynn do it when they went for drinks. She’d done it today, too, and found nothing, so why was he feeling that annoying sensation of being watched now? He was fine. No one was after him. This whole stupid thing was about the takeover, wasn’t it?

“You didn’t see Kaplan or that jerk Shaw, did you?”

Shaelynn frowned, her fingers going toward her knife. “Why do you think that they’d be here? You assuming she lied to you about the case?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t think so. I didn’t get that impression from her, but you know I’ve been a little off my game lately. Still… I don’t remember you being bothered by what she told you, and even if I’m not at my best, you seem to be doing fine. What five paintings are on the wall behind you?”

“A sunset, a winter snow, a waterfall, a mountain, a lake, and I hate you,” she said, glaring at him. “I don’t like that game any more than you do. Why did you have me do that?”

“I saw you surveying the room when we walked in. Proves you’re still sharp, doesn’t it?” He shrugged. She set her jaw, still angry. “You didn’t think Kaplan was lying. I think we both agree she wasn’t, so…”

“So…?”

“Something feels wrong,” he admitted. He looked at the paintings, knowing the décor wasn’t the issue. Even if it had been in poor taste—and it wasn’t; he liked comfortable places—that had never bothered him enough to set off that feeling. He’d grown up in a crappy tenement until they were locked away in that cult compound, and he’d put up with some terrible surroundings in both places, even a few of the rooms he’d had after they were free were bad, so he could endure them if he had to.

The restaurant was a favorite. He came here often. He wouldn’t do that if anything about it bothered him, so why was he being such an idiot about this? It wasn’t the restaurant, which he’d known when he asked if Shaelynn had seen Kaplan.

He closed his eyes, letting out a breath. “Do you see anyone that sets off your warning bells?”

“Other than you?”

“Funny,” he muttered, looking over at her. “Not really appropriate at the moment, though.”

She nodded. “I know. Still, don’t you think if someone was setting off my ‘spider sense’ that I would have said something by now? I would have asked you, but I think if someone is setting off your sense, then it’s someone I have no reason to see as a threat—only you do.”

He grimaced. “That’s not helpful. I’m the one that’s running on no sleep and possible excess paranoia, not you.”

“You did sleep last night, and if this is a threat to you, then you know better what it is. If someone’s watching you—and I’d say it has to be a someone and not a something because you wouldn’t have wanted to eat here otherwise—you’d be better at recognizing them than me.”

“Unless it was someone from the past. You knew all of them better than I did.”

“I thought we all agreed that it wasn’t anyone from the past. It’s not about the cult. Not everything is, and this is one of those things that isn’t. I don’t want to be told that it is. That is—it’s not all that our lives were.”

“And yet we say that so much it feels false, doesn’t it?”

He pursed his lips. “Maybe what our lives are really about is—No, that can’t be it. Let’s just assume that our lives are about cats. You see—that’s the secret truth, we’re all here to serve the cats when they take over the world. We only think we’re in charge.”

She smiled. “You know what I’ve always liked about you? Your ability to make jokes in situations like this. I don’t know why—it wasn’t like it should have been a good thing, but we’d be thinking we couldn’t get up after Ambrose’s latest ‘exercise,’ and then all of a sudden you’d roll over, groan, and say something like, ‘I think the stars I saw were really aliens that abducted the cuckoo birds from last time.’ Completely ridiculous, but you made us all laugh anyway, and we managed to get up and go on.”

“I never said anything like that. Where do you get your delusions?”

“My father.”

He winced. “Sorry. That question was in poor taste. I just—that’s weird. I don’t think I feel it anymore. Either I freaked out for nothing—”

“Or they’re gone.”

“Or that.”


“I’m still trying to figure out what happened back there.”

Shaelynn gave him a look. “You don’t think maybe you have a stalker?”

“A stalker? Why would anyone stalk me?”

“Maybe it’s one of those women that drool over you,” she offered, getting another look from him. She shrugged. “You were the one that insisted they existed. If they exist, then why wouldn’t one of them think to stalk you? Maybe she didn’t want to accept the cats’ decision about her marriageability. Maybe she figures she can get rid of the cats and convince you that you’re the love of her life.”

“Impossible. I know the love of my life.”

Shaelynn stiffened, looking over at him. “You do?”

He nodded. “Of course. She’s kind of thin, very graceful—very athletic, actually. She can jump high, always manages to roll with the punches, can be temperamental but also very sweet. She’s beautiful, has the most keen eyes I’ve ever seen. She is playful and funny. I love her nose. It’s adorable.”

Shaelynn shook her head. “First I thought you were talking about me, and I would have had to smack you. Then I thought it was Nora. Now I am thinking you’re making all that up.”

“No. She exists. You even met her, but you weren’t paying attention, though.”

“Patchwork? You’re talking about your cat?”

“You have a problem with her being the love of my life?”

“Other than the fact that you’re insane?” Shaelynn didn’t know if she should smack him or laugh. Nolan was a funny man—she did like the way he managed to find something to joke about regardless of the horrible circumstances around them—but he could infuriate her with that same humor because she sometimes thought it was as much a lie as any of her father’s. Nolan hid the pain well. He always had. Either he was deadpan or he was joking. He didn’t have a lot of mid-ground, and when he slipped, it was that much more of a shock. She hadn’t figured on him falling apart at lunch. She didn’t like it, either. He should have been stable—they’d identified the likely cause of his uneasiness, she’d agreed to stay and help until they’d fought off the takeover, and they almost had a plan. He shouldn’t have faltered like that. It wasn’t him. “Are you sure that you haven’t been dealing with a lot of PTSD?”

He frowned. “Why is it I have to be off my rocker to enjoy the company of my cats?”

“Careful how you phrase that. If you combine that sentiment with you saying that Patchwork is the love of your life—”

“That’s sick and wrong.”

“You said it, not me.”

He glared at her. “I didn’t say it the way you interpreted it. You’re the one that twisted it. I just mean that… Well, I’m not planning on marrying again. I have a good life, and I have my cats, and that’s enough. I’m content.”

“Contentment isn’t happiness.”

He stepped into her, invading her space again. “And are you happy, Shaelynn? Does that cubicle of yours give you a sense of fulfillment? Is your empty apartment warm and cozy at night? Are you happy with what you’ve chosen or will you ever admit that all you’ve done since you got free of your father is run or hide? You’re not living. You’re existing, and barely that. Tell me about the other friends you have besides me and Nora. Tell me about the men in your life. Tell me about your hobbies. What do you do in your spare time?”

“Nolan, stop it. You’re being—”

“Right. I’m being right. And that infuriates you because you have nothing. You’re still letting him win, damn it. You’re so afraid of doing what he said you would that you do nothing at all. You push papers in an office you hate with people you don’t know or don’t like, and the few people you ever gave a damn about have to get shot to hear from you. Oh, yeah, you have a great life.”

“Snapping at me because you don’t want to admit you’re suffering from PTSD doesn’t help anything.”

His shook his head. “It’s not because of the PTSD. I don’t remember denying that I had it to some degree. I’m angry because you turned your back on me thirteen years ago. Nora said you’d do it again, and I don’t want to believe that, but I don’t want to be a fool, either.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “I did not turn my back on you. I needed time to sort out how I felt after my father’s trial, and you just told me yesterday that you understood that.”

“Understood, maybe. Accepted? No. I’m not that good of a person. I didn’t just say, ‘oh, that’s fine. I understand she needs time, and she can have as much as she needs and it doesn’t matter that she didn’t even so much as leave a note.’ I was hurt, I was angry—no, I was pissed—and I even hated you for a while.” He looked away from her. “I know you didn’t want to marry me, and ours wasn’t really a marriage, but I did think we were friends. I thought I deserved better from you than that.”

She closed her eyes, let out a breath. “I needed to be sure that the reason I was around you was because I wanted to be—not because of my father’s orders or vows that weren’t legal. We accepted what we were when we there because we had to. Because neither of us could have gone against my father and won. Direct confrontation with him was suicide. He wouldn’t have killed us—he’d let Ambrose do that—but he would have made sure it happened. He didn’t tolerate nonbelievers. We were forced into a partnership, and if we hadn’t been, things would have been different.”

“Why did you come back? Why did what Nora said to you matter at all?”

“Just because I don’t want to live near you doesn’t mean that you don’t matter to me.”

He started to walk away from her, and she had that feeling that if this were some kind of movie like the ones he used to try and tell her about when they were training, he’d have been shot the moment that he walked away.

She hurried after him, telling herself she was the one being paranoid now.


“Nolan, wake up.”

“Hmm… No. Comfortable here, and I’m not going to school today. There’s no point in school, you know. Mom went to school, and now she’s just an addict. She can’t even count her hits right—and her drug dealer rips her off. No, sleeping is better,” he said, tightening his grip on Shaelynn. “Wait. When did I get a—that’s not a stuffed animal.”

“No, it’s not.”

He winced as he sat back. “Sorry, Shaelynn. I didn’t realize—I didn’t know I’d—I know we were supposed to try sharing the bed since they expect us to, but I didn’t realize I’d hog it or crowd you like that. Nora was too young to tell me, and Mom wouldn’t have noticed.”

Shaelynn nodded, not really wanting to think about what it was like in his arms. Her mother used to hug her years ago, but that was all gone, and she didn’t want any hugs from her father. He disgusted her. All of the men here did. The only one she kind of liked was Nolan.

She was lucky. She’d been afraid they were going to marry her off to Ambrose, and she’d be his third wife—his third dead wife—and that was a prospect too horrible to dwell on. She just wished she hadn’t had to get married at all.

“I had dreams about strawberries. Must have been because I was close enough to smell your shampoo,” he said, smiling at her. “Thanks for that. I’m glad I didn’t have that one again.”

“Me, too,” she told him, thinking about the way he’d come out of it screaming, waking her, making her think they were being attacked. He was just struggling, though. Nolan had a heart, a rare thing in this place, and he paid for that. He cared, and that was dangerous.

It was kind of nice, too. He was good to her, made sure she had what she wanted as much as he could, and he hadn’t taken advantage of this whole thing like she knew someone else would have.

“You are a very good pillow.”

She frowned at him. He hadn’t been using her as a pillow. He was next to her, holding her, maybe even squeezing her, not sleeping on her. “Pillow?”

He shrugged. “I figured you’d hit me if I said snuggly toy.”

She stared at him, not sure if she was going to laugh or do as he suggested and hit him. “Snuggly toy? What is a snuggly toy?”

“Nora used to have one when she was young. It was ugly—I think they meant it to look like a stuffed bunny, but it didn’t look much like a rabbit, more like a sock of vomit or something, but Nora loved that thing. She’d carry it around with her everywhere and snuggle with it. It made her feel safe and secure, and she couldn’t sleep without it.”

“You think I look like an ugly vomit sock?”

“No,” he said, brushing back a bit of her hair. “I won’t say you’re pretty because you’d hit me for that, but you’re not a sock. You’re the rabbit in all its soft and wonderful glory.”

“I am?”

He moved closer to her, drawing her into his arms. She stiffened, but she didn’t pull away because they were supposed to do stuff like this, to be comfortable with each other, and if they weren’t—Ambrose might get her after all. “What you really are is safe and secure. Thank you for letting me skip that nightmare for once.”

“You’re welcome, but I see to my own safety,” she said, pushing away from him. “And my own security. You don’t have to do that.”

He grimaced. “I kind of do with this whole weird head of the house thing, but I meant that you made me safe and secure. I wouldn’t suggest that I did that for you.”

She found herself smiling. Nolan was such a sweetheart, really, and he did not belong here. “Well, then you’re welcome for that, too.”

He smiled back. “Are you really ready to get up now? We are supposed to be able to sleep in on the weekend, and I think I’d like to try that for once.”

She wasn’t in any hurry to get up, and it wasn’t too bright in here to where she couldn’t go back to sleep. She probably wouldn’t, but she could stay here for a bit longer. “I could try it, too.”

He coaxed her back into his arms. “Night, Shaelynn.”

“It’s not night, and you don’t have to hold me now.”

“Sure I do. What’s a wife for if not to be a snuggly toy?”

She couldn’t say why, but she laughed.


Nano and Cats…

Author’s Note: So I am typing this with a cat on my shoulder half keeping one of my arms from moving like it would were I typing normally. He’s purring. He claimed me. He’s Arthur; he can do that.

Besides, I was gone last night, so he’s all miffed at me for that and is now claiming this human as his all over again. While it’s annoying because I was trying to get more writing in before bed, I do love my cats.

Nolan really likes his cats, too, even if he doesn’t name them as well as we have. Well, Moof might object to that statement, but can you really beat Uther Pendragon, better known as Arthur?


Cats and Invitations

“You look exhausted,” Shaelynn said, watching Nolan across the couch. His eyes were closed, and he had the black one with white paws in his lap, running his fingers through the cat’s fur, but the fatigue still showed in all those old places she knew so well. He’d changed since he was seventeen and she first memorized him during those long nights planning their escape. Having that to focus on took away from the awkwardness of their “marriage,” and they had somehow managed to stay friends then and now—though he was right—it had been too long.

“You say that because you want to sleep.”

She kicked him. “Come on. I found what’s been bothering you, didn’t I? You have a plan now—well, your plan is letting me make the plan—so you can stop worrying and relax. Go to sleep.”

“Don’t kick Boots. He doesn’t like that.”

“Boots? You named that cat Boots?”

“Yes. Socks would have been too mundane and ordinary with those feet, I refused to do anything that called him ‘Paws,’ and he took offense to Booties.”

She blinked. That was another example of his kind of messed up logic, but she knew she was going to end up smiling about it, maybe even laughing. She shook her head. “Boots and Creamsicle—I’m not sure I want to know the others’ names.”

“I already introduced you to them. You weren’t paying attention.” He nudged her with his foot. “I guess I can see why the others haven’t come around you. They are extremely disappointed in you. You can’t even take the time to learn their names. Do you know what colors they are? Do you know what they look like at all?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. One is a calico and the other is gray.”

“Boots and I agree—you are no longer welcome. You have to go. If you cannot show proper respect for the cats in this house, you just can’t stay here. We can’t allow such an obvious cat-hater in our midst. You must go. Now.”

She shook her head. “It was gray. Stop acting like an idiot. If I could lift you, I’d just carry you back into your bed because this is ridiculous. You need to sleep already. I’d drug you, but it is not worth it. I also don’t feel like allowing you to drink again.”

“The cat is not gray,” Nolan said, reaching down to lift the cat into his arms. “See? He’s hazel. Hazelnut, actually, and before you insult that name, Nora gave it to him—before her building changed policies and said no pets and she gave him to me.”

“Hazel.”

“Yes,” Nolan said, and the cat started to purr. Shaelynn shook her head. Sometimes he was so ridiculous. “Hazelnut may choose to forgive you, but I haven’t yet. As for Patchwork, you won’t see her until Hazelnut has forgiven you.”

Shaelynn set Creamsicle to the side and rose. “There has to be more to this not sleeping business than you’ve been saying. You are actively avoiding sleep now, and if you are exhausted but won’t sleep—and you are exhausted—you’re not just having trouble sleeping. You’re scared to sleep. Why?”

“You remember those nightmares I used to get?”

She nodded. She hadn’t ever managed to forget the way he’d wake her with them. Nolan hadn’t been raised to their life like she had, he wasn’t the cult leader’s child, wasn’t indoctrinated from birth. She’d had nagging senses here and there that what they were doing was wrong, but Nolan had known enough of the real world to know how far her father had skewed reality, had bent the rules of right and wrong and twisted their morality to where fighting for him was right, to where they would be willing to take lives for his sake. Nolan had never been able to accept that, and she’d found voice for her own doubts in him.

He still carried those doubts, those ones that had tormented him in the night. Ambrose had made a fighter out of him, had made a soldier—in all that Nolan had all the skills and the techniques he needed, a poker face that made it seem like he didn’t have a problem doing it—but Nolan had never shed his conscience, and that guilt gave him nightmares.

“Why would they be back?” She didn’t know why he’d bring that back up again, even in his subconscious, because he’d spent the last thirteen years proving that he wasn’t that person.

“You know that keyed up sensation you feel when you know you have to fight? That nerves-on-fire agitation that can be pure adrenaline after that paranoia sets in?”

She could pinpoint the last time she’d felt that—when Nora called her to say he’d been shot. She’d been running on that until she got to the hospital and saw he was alive with her own eyes, and it didn’t end until he was out of the hospital and back on his feet. “Yes.”

“I have this feeling like maybe a fight is coming. I don’t want it to come, and I don’t know that it’s just this takeover because that is… it’s corporate. It’s not dangerous. Even if they took the firm, I’d just leave. They can’t force me to work for them, to be their mouthpiece or selling point. I’m not that worried about it.”

She wasn’t sure she believed that. “We’ll see how you feel after we have a real plan in place. If that is what’s bothering you, it’ll pass. If not, we’ll find something else.”

He looked at her. “Why? Why does there have to be something else and why should we even bother looking for it?”

“That’s a dumb question.”

“Is it?”

She lifted Hazelnut out of his arms. “Yes, it is, and you know why it is, so I’m not going to bother explaining it. I’m just going to shove you in that bed and keep you there until you sleep.”

“That’s quite the threat.”

She almost laughed. She didn’t really like it, but she had a feeling that if she stayed with him this time, he’d be able to sleep, maybe even without a nightmare. That had worked before. She’d been better than a security blanket or a stuffed animal could ever have been for him. She ignored the memory that tried to surface, his teasing voice—what is a wife for if not to be a snuggly toy?—and pushed him into his bedroom. “Sleep. Now.”


“I think you will regret this for the rest of the day.”

Shaelynn’s eyes opened, and Nolan grinned down at her, not wanting to think too much about the fact that he’d finally been able to sleep last night. He didn’t want to acknowledge the obvious reason for that, the one sitting in the chair by the window.

“That chair isn’t very comfortable. I’ve fallen asleep in it before, and it is not worth suffering through the day after.”

She blinked. “Worse than after one of Ambrose’s training sessions?”

He considered that, had to shake his head almost immediately. Ambrose’s methods were brutal. Ambrose was brutal. He’d made sure that training hurt every time, and while it was supposedly in the name of making better soldiers, Nolan had always figured that man enjoyed it way too much. “No, so I guess you’ll live.”

“I think so,” she told him, pushing him away with her foot. She stood, stretching, and Nolan tried not to watch her. She still kept to part of the morning ritual they’d all been told to use—for her, he supposed it made sense. She had been raised with it, and it wasn’t as life-altering and offensive as it had been for him.

He rubbed his back. He probably could use some stretches himself, but he would not do it. He had sworn off that routine and as much of Ambrose’s teachings as he could. “Next time, get me to fall asleep and then go back to your hotel room.”

“Where’s your nobility?”

He turned, frowning at her. “My what?”

She smiled. “You’re not acting like much of a gentleman, are you? I could make a few jokes about the way you were raised—I could make hundreds of them—but that doesn’t change the fact that you should at least have suggested I get the couch. You could have offered the bed and you’d take the couch. Or maybe you just should offer to pay me a consultant’s fee to cover that hotel room even if I’m not using it at the moment.”

He felt Boots bumping him in the leg and bent down to pick him up. “I have another bedroom, but I didn’t figure you’d care for any of those offers. You never have before. Then again, you are here for longer than usual, so now would be the time to use it. You want to?”

“To share an apartment with you and your four cats?”

He glanced at Boots and shook his head. “No, I take it back. You can’t. Patchwork hasn’t forgiven you, and neither have I.”

She laughed. “If I wanted to stay here, no over exaggerated offense to your cat would stop me.”

“Oh, so you’d just force your way in, would you? You’d break the door or pick the lock and make yourself at home, would you?”

“It wouldn’t even take that much effort.”

“Excuse me? I have a secure home and an army of attack cats. They only look cute and fluffy. They’re real terrors, I tell you. Ambrose trained me, and I trained them and—”

Shaelynn kissed his cheek, and he stiffened, staring at her. She smiled. “Can I stay?”

“Yes.”

“See?” She smirked and walked—no, she practically pranced, and Shaelynn did not prance—out of the room. He stared at where she’d been, knowing he’d just had one of the most surreal moments of his life. Not only was she never affectionate, but she didn’t tease like that. Never. Even when they were “married,” they’d been awkward at showing any kind of “affection,” at the most being able to hold hands—maybe one hug, that was it—and this was not something he would ever have expected from her. Forget what ever had supposedly unsettled him before—she did that. She’d thrown him completely off, and he needed more than a minute to wrap his head around that.

Boots hit him on the chest with a paw, and Nolan looked down at him. “You don’t want her to stay. We don’t. None of us.”

The cat blinked. He bit back a curse, shaking his head. “You’re saying that we do? All of us?”

Boots started purring. Nolan did curse, rather loudly, and he had to hope she hadn’t heard him because she would be laughing.


“You are insane. Tell me you didn’t honestly offer her the other room in your apartment,” Nora said, and Nolan frowned, looking behind her. She rolled her eyes, and he shrugged. She didn’t always shut the door when she wanted to throw these kinds of fits, and he wasn’t about to continue this conversation where Shaelynn might hear it.

“Why are you now so outraged? You’re the one that called her, aren’t you? If you didn’t want to have her around, why call her? That is such screwed up logic, and I can’t even begin to start unraveling that one. I’m not going to. You are on your own with that,” he told her, leaning back in his chair and trying to remember what he’d done with the Allens file. He hadn’t given it to Shaelynn—it was a case from after the trip, and he’d considered it none of her concern anyway.

She’d be angry about that, but she was still not going to get it from him.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Nora said, folding her arms over her chest. “You know what I mean. I’m talking about something you’ve been denying since you were maybe… fourteen. You are and always have been in—”

“Stop right there. Even if that allegation was true, that is not what the offer was about. I was just… She offered to help us fight off that damned takeover, and I said fine. So she is probably going to be around for a while. I made an off-hand comment, and she twisted it. I didn’t actually think she meant it. She doesn’t. She’s just using this to get under your skin and mine.”

Nora shook her head. “No, she isn’t. She just left to collect her stuff from her hotel and take it over to your place. She was going to ask for a spare key, but then she so conveniently remembered that she’d palmed yours.”

He reached down to pat his pockets, frowning as he did. He was missing his keys, and he’d never noticed that until now. He was slipping, badly, and while he’d like to excuse that on it being Shaelynn and all the past she brought with her, she wasn’t the only one who’d gotten past him lately, and there shouldn’t be any excuse for this. He had been the one that trained her to pickpocket, not Ambrose.

“She is already running circles around you. She manipulates you, and you let her. I can’t believe I thought calling her was a good idea.”

He shrugged. “She did manage to get me to sleep last night, so I suppose that’s something, but I don’t know that it makes as much of a difference as you’d hoped.”

Nora sighed. “I wanted her to fix you.”

“I know that.”

“I don’t want her breaking you again.”

He focused a harsh glare on his sister, not holding back the anger. “She has never broken me. No one broke me, not Boath for all his cult leader psychobabble, not Coman for all his attempts to please Boath by making more converts, and not Ambrose with all his drill sergeant tactics. Definitely not Shaelynn. I won’t say it didn’t hurt when she turned her back on the partnership and left, but she did not break me then, and she won’t do it now.”

“And when she leaves again after building up your hopes again? She is never going to stay. That would be like admitting her father was right to marry her off to you, and she won’t do that.”

Nolan found himself studying his hands. Truth was, he’d figured Ambrose was going to get Shaelynn when she got old enough, and Nolan had to do a lot of fast talking to convince Boath that she was a better choice for him than one of Boath’s wives that he felt like discarding, that they could have a house of soldiers and not necessarily one with a lot of children.

He felt that familiar disgust wash over him again, and he forced himself up from the desk. “She doesn’t have to stay. I have never asked her to, I won’t force her to, and I won’t be that bothered if she goes. Now if you will excuse me, that wonderful dose of memories you pulled up requires a very long, very hot shower. Damn it.”

“Nolan—”

He held up a hand. “Don’t. There is nothing you can say about what happened when we were younger that will make it okay. We all know that. What Boath did to us ruined us forever.”

“I thought you said he didn’t break you.”

Nolan almost laughed. “Something doesn’t have to be broken to be ruined, you know. Bent, stained, tarnished, torn… All of those work as well.”

“I think you need an office cat. You’re not as… frightening with them around. You even smile. Right now, I’m not sure you’re not going to kill yourself in the shower.”

“I’d make a comment about you standing guard, but you are not doing that to me. Ever.”

“I’ll check on you every five minutes. You better answer me.”


Not as Much Nano Today…

Author’s Note: So in between errands and babysitting, I was mostly working on back and forth editing with Liana Mir today. I’d written some things last night that needed… tweaking to fit with her characters and backstory and then I felt my characters needed to say some things and act differently after hers did, so it went back and forth.

In the end, I didn’t get a lot done on Nano today. And I say that like it’s so terrible that all I managed was two scenes and 1,735 words. Not my best Nano day ever, but not my worst, either.


Getting Closer to the Problem

“This one.”

Nolan accepted it with a frown, flipping through the papers and then looking up at her. “Why this one? I don’t know why you pulled that one out of the dozens I worked before vacation. Oh, wait. You’re not jealous, are you?”

Shaelynn kicked him from the other side of the couch, glaring at him. “If either of us is jealous, it would be you, or have you forgotten what you pulled with Shaw earlier? For all your ship sunk talk, you are the one that still acts like you’re seventeen and obeying the rules of that farce.”

He kicked her back. “That was an isolated incident. You don’t see me picking cases that bother me based on what the client looks like. I’m not discriminatory—see? I worked for a beautiful woman once. Just because I only did it once doesn’t mean I’m prejudiced.”

“You have a thing against beautiful women?”

“Nora hates competition.”

Shaelynn snorted, leaning back. Sometimes he was impossible to work with. She had the hardest time trying to get him to focus, and back when they were kids, she used to think it was just him being difficult and stupid, but now she knew when he was avoiding things. “If this case didn’t bother you, why are you trying to distract me?”

“It’s not the case. Not the client, either. Incidentally, I am pretty sure most of that was fake, and I’ve got no interest in plastic women. Nora said if I wanted plastic, she’d buy me one from Mattel, and so there is a boxed special edition of Catwoman in my office.”

“She knows you so well.”

“She’s a decent sister sometimes. Why does this case bother you? It was rather mundane.”

Shaelynn shook her head. She wouldn’t call it mundane. She almost thought she’d been reading over the summary of some cheesy film noir story, and that femme fatale should have stabbed Nolan in the back before now. She didn’t like it, and she wouldn’t like it. “Was this woman some kind of actress?”

“Might have wanted to be one, but as far as I knew, no. I don’t see what is so important about her. She asked about where to start looking for something that had been stolen from her family. I looked over the case because it amused me, not because I believed her. I didn’t. I’m pretty sure she wanted to capitalize on someone else’s theft, but that’s in the notes, isn’t it?”

She shook her head. “It says here you helped her.”

“Oh. Nora. She must have typed the notes on that meeting and left some of the details out. Not a big deal at all. Quit getting all suspicious on me.”

“Isn’t that what I’m here for?”

“You mean you’re not here to pet my cats and look pretty?”

She hadn’t quite registered that she had Creamsicle in her lap again. She must have been petting the kitten for longer than she’d realized. “Did you really call me pretty?”

He snorted. “I’m not that crazy, and I don’t have that much of a death wish. No one calls you pretty and gets away with it.”

She laughed. “How do you come up with this stuff, anyway?”

“I told you—I’m your kind of crazy. It just comes naturally. Always has, from the first time I made you crack a smile when we were supposed to be doing a speed drill on how to put together our guns. ‘Excuse me, is this the firing pin? It looks kind of… odd.’”

“It was the grip, and I knew you were faking it, but you managed to stand there with a straight face for long enough that I gave in and laughed so that you would finally stop.”

“No, you smiled, called me an idiot, and then when I told Ambrose I wanted to know if there was a homeschool option for that class, then you laughed.”

She shrugged. She didn’t know that the details mattered. All that did was that they got along almost from the beginning. “Next file.”

He reached for it, opened it, and tensed. “Not that one.”

“Are you kidding? After that reaction?” She shook her head. “Tell me about that case. Now.”

“No.”


“Nolan, if this thing bothers you that much, then it has to be the answer to all of this. You can talk me through it and by the time that you’re done, we’ll have pinpointed the problem and you’ll be able to sleep,” Shaelynn said, coming up behind him.

He kept his eyes on the window. He didn’t feel like discussing that—any part of it—and he hated to admit that he found it that humiliating. He should have pulled it from the files to avoid this conversation. He didn’t know why he hadn’t. “It’s more embarrassing than anything. I don’t know why I left that in there for you to see. You must have enjoyed that too much.”

She touched his arm. “Since when did I enjoy anyone’s humiliation? That was Ambrose, not me. Or maybe the other one. What was his name?”

Nolan shook his head. She hadn’t forgotten the name. She wouldn’t have. None of them could forget him or the way he’d followed her father around. “Coman.”

“Yeah, him. He might have liked seeing people humiliated.”

“Anyone but your father, maybe. That guy really drank the Kool-Aid.” Nolan looked back at her. “You don’t think it’s the least bit humiliating that I didn’t catch on to the fact that the guy worked for my competition the entire time? That I had to have that jerk come in and gloat about it to realize what happened?”

“A bit,” she said, her hands on his neck again. “Not quite enough to get this reaction from you. Come on. There’s more to this than that. Talk to me. There’s never been any kind of… judgment between us. Awkwardness, yes, lots of it, and some pain, but laughter most of the time, and understand the rest of it. We know each other, even when we don’t want to.”

He looked back at her, considering what he might say to that, things he hadn’t said in thirteen years and didn’t know that he could say them now, either, even if she was here again. “That’s not true. We barely talk.”

“Tell me. You know you will, so just do it now. Spare yourself the trouble.”

“Why is it, do you think, that I always give in to you?”

“Deep down, you’re too honorable to hit a girl.”

That made him laugh. He had missed her. He didn’t think he’d laughed like this since he got shot. She’d always been good at that, and he loved her for it. He leaned against the wall, studying her as he did. “Shouldn’t you be insulted? Someone’s implying you’re a girl.”

“That someone is me. I get a pass,” she said, shrugging. “Spill, or I will use what Ambrose taught me about torture.”

He let out a breath. “They’ve been trying for a hostile takeover since I got shot. Consider that their opening volley. I don’t have time to deal with their crap, and I don’t want to work for anyone else. I don’t see why anyone thinks I’m that valuable a commodity. I’m a one-man operation, more or less. Sure, Nora handles a few things. She screens the cases, but for the most part, her role in this partnership is doing the bookkeeping and the paperwork, scheduling and the rest.”

“Then why is it Sheppard and Sheppard on the door and the letterhead?”

“Nora insisted on it.”

Shaelynn gave him a look. “You are a terrible liar. You always were. I don’t know how Ambrose or any of the others believed you.”

Nolan grunted. “They never knew me like you do. They assumed I told the truth because they wanted me to. And if you really must know, it was because I did actually think we’d be working together. You didn’t tell me you were leaving until you’d already gone. Can’t blame you for that, not really, but it does prove I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.”

“I needed time.”

Thirteen years was too damn much, he thought, but he didn’t bother saying it. “I still don’t see why I am worth taking over. I can’t possibly interfere with that much of their business—I’m one person. I don’t have enough time to do that kind of damage.”

“You don’t need time. You just need the right weapon.”

He nodded tightly, not wanting to point out that she’d quoted Ambrose at him. “I suppose. I can do enough damage with a fast turnaround—sometimes it doesn’t take much to see what’s going on—or in a more professional assessment than they’ve gotten before, but these people are global. They don’t need me. They have plenty of staff.”

“They might want a monopoly, not a staff. It might be such a thing where they want no competition, even if it’s ‘small.’ Or they just plain want you.”

He blinked. “That’s disconcerting. Perhaps even sickening.”

She forced a smile, not much of one, and quickly let it fall. “Not that, you goofball. You don’t use it, you hate it, but you have a reputation. You have an image. You’re marketable. You’re the guy who took down a cult at seventeen. A hero. They could take that and ride to town on it even if you don’t and never would.”

Nolan’s stomach twisted with those words. He forced his eyes back to the window, kept his voice almost calm when he spoke. “I am not going to be sold.”

“No, you’re not,” she agreed. “You have any strategy in place against them?”

“Does getting very angry count?”

“Only if you’re the Hulk.”

He grinned. “I knew it. You do want to see my comic collection, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes, and he waited. She let out a breath and maybe a few curses before she cleared her throat. “Only if it means you’re going to let me help you fight off this takeover.”

That was almost too easy. He shouldn’t let it be, shouldn’t pounce on the offer like it was some damned life preserver, but a part of him felt like that was what it was. He gave her another shrug, fighting a smile.

“Maybe.”


The Past Remains Present in Nano…

Author’s Note: So I told myself today I’d be good and clean. I’d also finish my other story before doing too much Nano. Well… I couldn’t come up with anything but an “everyone dies at the end” solution for the other story, and cleaning came to a halt when the kitchen sink backed up. I woke with an iffy stomach this morning, and the sink made me queasy. My stomach took forever to settle after that.

So I got plenty of Nano done before happily being sidetracked into yet a third story, the collaboration with Liana Mir.

I should mention that Kaplan, who first cameoed in the last section and reappears here, is a character from another story, one as yet unpublished, and I’m not sure if she has more of a role in this yet. I did write a possible ending that involved her and more characters from her original story, and it was a fun thing to do, so I may revisit that or extend it.


The Past, Unfortunately, Remains Present

“Shaelynn, wait.”

“Why the hell should I?”

“Because I was acting like the overprotective jackass that I am when I saw him ogling you, and I would never have brought up the whole farce of a marriage we got forced into back then if I hadn’t been so bothered by him looking at you like that and because I swear I didn’t know they were feds when I agreed to take the consultation with them. This was only the preliminary meeting, and they would have gotten the same answer I just gave them—I can’t help them,” Nolan said, catching her arm. Shaelynn looked at his hand and considered twisting it off, but she didn’t like obeying knee-jerk reactions, not when they meant getting violent. That wasn’t her. It was what they’d tried to make her, a perfect soldier, but it wasn’t her.

She looked into Nolan’s eyes, taking a breath and letting it out as she realized he’d been stripped clean of all acts. This was him, raw and exposed, and the discomfort on his face told her he’d just noticed the same thing.

He let go of her arm. “I’m sorry. Old patterns, habits… You know that I did what I did so Nora didn’t end up your father’s twenty-first wife, and it wasn’t like he was the only one who seemed to be impatient for her to get old enough to marry off or even that looked at you when we were ‘married.’ Back then it was my responsibility to make them answer for that. It sickens me that I still think it’s my place to do it. I don’t want to live by his rules. I never did, but we had to survive—”

“I know.” She cut him off, wanting to stop talking about any of this. She didn’t want to remember, none of them did. They could almost function as friends if they didn’t think about that one aspect of things, but if they let that part get in, it became awkward. They had worked well together—that was their problem. She should have turned him in when he admitted his clumsy tactics with the gun—holding it in a way to look cool rather than control it—was about not using it like he was expected to, but she hadn’t. Somehow covering that up meant covering up more things, and they were a strange team before she hit a “marriageable” age and was handed off to Nolan like a damn prize.

Nolan looked away for a moment, and when he turned back, he was all business again. “I have to update another client in about an hour, but I have time to discuss those files you wanted to go over now since the feds won’t be staying.”

“You think they’ll accept no for an answer?”

“Honestly, what can anyone expect me to tell them now? That was thirteen years ago, and we worked on escaping from the inside out. I didn’t storm any compounds, and we didn’t confront your father directly. I’m not an expert, and I can’t prevent another Waco, not that they’d even expect that.”

Shaelynn nodded. She hadn’t expected him to say anything different, not when it was true. When it first happened, he’d been considered a hero for what he’d done to get as many of the kids out as possible, but he hadn’t done it to be a hero or a leader. He’d just done it for his sister. Their mother had fallen for her father’s lies and trapped them. Nolan got them out. That was all it was.

“I overreacted,” she said. “When I saw them, I thought… I thought all kinds of things I had no right to think. Even if they were true, I don’t have the right to judge you for working with them. It might even be good if you could help them get others out without standoffs. My father was prepared to make it the Alamo, not a mass suicide, but that fell apart when we wrecked the fence and took the kids.”

“Again, another reason why I can’t help them. There isn’t some kid from the streets full of resentment and never buying one ounce of the guy’s lies, never drinking the Kool-Aid in most of those groups. Most of the internal conflict there is the second or lieutenant thinking he wants the place as the leader. Not the case with us. That guy was sickeningly loyal to your father.”

She swallowed. “Subject change. Now.”

“You had six things you wanted to ask me about. Ask.”

“Seven, actually. I didn’t know you were such a cat person.”

“Who says I’m a cat person?”

“You wouldn’t work for a company that made inferior cat food when they asked for help reorganizing their company and remaking their image.”

He grimaced. “Yeah, well, the cult didn’t allow us to have pets, but back in the days of our crappy apartment, I befriended a cat or two over the years, only pets I ever had, but they were good for keeping me company when I wanted to pretend I didn’t know what my mother was doing—good for distracting Nora, too.”

She did curse then. “Why is it we can’t ever get away from that? I ask about cats and you mention it—and even if you hadn’t pointed out why I didn’t know about your affection for cats, that memory was painful. It’s like a field of land mines with us, isn’t it?”

“We could always try sticking to the weather.”

She snorted. “Very funny.”

“I know. That wasn’t much of an attempt there,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. “This is going to be awkward no matter what I say now. That’s why you really stay away and why you working with me would be a bad idea and why we don’t even call each other on the phone most of the time. Too much past. It’s impossible to talk like this. We just bring up old horrors that need to stay buried.”

“Are you holding something back?”

He turned to her with a frown. “What?”

“You couldn’t sleep for almost a month before we stole the bus,” she reminded him. “You went over everything, obsessed over the details, and that’s what Nora thinks has put you back there. The sleeplessness. You have something going on that you’re not telling either of us?”

“An operation like that? No. I don’t—just because the feds came today doesn’t mean I had anything like that going on. I don’t. I wasn’t the one that was good at strategy—that was you. I got all the credit for it, but you were the one that made that plan work. I knew a few things from the streets, knew the stuff those militia drill instructors taught us, but I didn’t ever want to think strategy. The most strategy I ever had was knowing I could have eaten my own gun if I didn’t have Nora to protect.”

Shaelynn shook her head. “You were stronger than that.”

“Says you. I don’t believe it, and neither do the worms on my chest.”

She considered hitting him. She didn’t. She almost thought he wanted that. “You were having trouble sleeping before the trip, so we need to look closer at something you started working on before you left.”

“You have the files.”

“I know.” She put a hand on his arm. “Have Nora reschedule everything you were supposed to do today. You’re going home.”

“Excuse me?”

She smiled. “You have to introduce me to your cats. Well, and you need to sleep.”

He blinked. “How do you know I have a cat? I don’t have cats.”

“You have at least three.”

“Fine, I have four, but that’s only because one of them needed a kitten,” Nolan said, defensive. She looked at him. “He kept escaping.”

“So you got him a kitten?”

“Yes.”

“That kind of warped logic could only belong to you.”

“Thanks.”


Shaelynn stopped to scoop the kitten up into her hands as she watched Nolan try to get comfortable. The other three cats had claimed spots around him or on top of him, and she knew that she would never have been able to sleep like that, but he did seem comforted by the act of running his fingers through the black one’s fur, tangling in and out of it the way he used to do with Nora’s hair or even Shaelynn’s at times. She should have known he was a cat person.

She moved the orange fuzz onto her shoulder and reached for the door handle, pulling it shut behind her. She had said no to the slumber party, but maybe this was what he needed—to have someone around when he was trying to sleep. Maybe that was why the trip let him sleep, not the jet-lag. He’d had Nora nearby, and that was enough to get him through the night. His cats, while almost an army, were not enough.

She reached up to grab Creamsicle off her shoulder, shaking her head again at Nolan’s choice of name—it could have been worse, he’d said he considered naming the kitten after one of his worms, and she’d refused to let him tell her what he’d named his scars. “If I were you, I’d worry about getting eaten.”

The kitten blinked, starting to purr again, and she gave it a pat on the head before crossing back to where the files were. She was going to prioritize which ones she felt like asking him about, and maybe she’d let the kitten help with that.

She sat down on the couch, putting her feet on the table and the cat in her lap as she flipped open the file. “Brokerage firm?”

The purr stopped. She almost laughed. Yeah, she hadn’t thought much of that possibility herself. She’d held onto it because there was a lot of money involved, and money was almost always a good motive. She set the file to the side, picking up the next one. This one she liked more—if only because the guy involved seemed like slime—nothing in the file said he was, but he gave her that impression anyway—so she might start with that one, find out what Nolan thought of that.

The doorbell stopped her from consulting the next file. She got a bit of a squeak out of Creamsicle as she rose, and she pet him, calming him as she went to answer it. She frowned. “Kaplan.”

“I wanted to speak to Sheppard without Shaw to clarify a few things, and I figured trying to do it at the office was a bad idea. This was never about a cult—I work missing persons, and I am looking for two teenage girls, not a cult.”

Shaelynn willed herself not to grimace. She pulled the door open further. “Come in.”

“Sheppard did some work for one of the girls’ father, but I got the sense the man lied to me about what that work was. I figured I’d go to the source. Shaw, though, he went from assuming this thing was about a serial killer to a cult of serial killers when he saw Sheppard’s background,” Kaplan went on. Shaelynn looked at her, and the agent shrugged. “He’s my first partner since I transferred, but he’s about enough of an idiot to make me quit for good. My husband and his two brothers have all offered to kick the crap out of Shaw. They’re all very overprotective.”

“You have the gun and the badge, though.”

Kaplan laughed. “So does the husband. And the brothers have guns—one’s army, the other’s navy. Shaw is either going to transfer or disappear himself by the end of the year.”

Shaelynn found herself smiling. “I’d recommend a different line of work, personally.”

“Your instincts as good as Sheppard’s?”

“Technically, my name is Sheppard, too,” Shaelynn said. She let the kitten go so she wouldn’t squeeze it as she spoke. “I took the name when Nolan and Nora went back to the name they’d been born with—I didn’t want my father’s for any reason, and for a time, I did actually think Nolan was my husband, so it made sense.”

Kaplan nodded. “It does.”

“Look, all of that is in the past. It’s supposed to stay there. Nolan reacted like it wasn’t, like he was seventeen again, and I overreacted because he’d promised me when we got out he’d never be involved in any cult—not as a deprogrammer like people were telling him he should be, not as law enforcement—they kept trying to tell us it was a good way to use the skills my father forced on us, but we never wanted those skills. The idea of using them sickens me.”

“I don’t blame you. My husband had to kill someone in the line of duty, someone that almost killed him, and it still eats at him even though he didn’t have a choice.” Kaplan reached into her jacket pocket and took out two photographs, passing them to her. “Those are the girls I’m looking for.”

“And only one of them is the daughter of the guy Nolan consulted for?”

“Supposedly. The resemblance is what made Shaw jump to serial killer, but for me, it was another warning bell.”

“You have DNA to test them and be sure they’re sisters?”

“At the lab. I’m hoping for something more like an accidental meeting and outrage over family lies that caused the girls to run off for a while—there’s a better chance of a happier end there—but I know it’s possible they’re dead because of the resemblance. Still doesn’t mean a serial killer or a cult.”

Shaelynn carried the photos over to the couch, spread out the files, and found the one she wanted. “I’d flagged this for a different reason, but I’d say that someone’s political ambitions are out the window now that everyone knows he’s got another daughter out there.”

“Politics?”

“Had his eye on being mayor then governor and on to president,” Shaelynn said. She’d been a bit ticked that Nolan had taken on that one, too, but he’d squashed the guy’s ambitions, so she was more okay with that one—she just figured that the other guy might not have taken it so well, and if it connected to these missing girls, maybe this was it, the thing that was keeping Nolan up at night.

“Spare me,” Kaplan muttered. She shook her head. “I thought I’d gotten away from most of that when I transferred out of DC.”

“Well, she should have,” Nolan said. “You should have had a warrant for what’s in that file, and Shaelynn didn’t have the right to share it with you.”

She shrugged. “You never made me sign any non-disclosure agreements when you gave me the files, and I don’t work for you. You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“Can’t sleep with voices in the other room. You know that.” He came around to the edge of the couch. “I should tell you that the confidentiality agreement between me and Bavelier has been violated, and I could get sued if you confront him with what you learned through Shaelynn.”

“If need be, I’ll get a warrant. Was the second daughter part of why you discouraged him from office?”

“More that I knew he was a philanderer and wouldn’t admit it, even when I said he needed to disclose everything to me so that the evaluation could be made with all the variables. If he thought he could keep that sort of thing a secret, he was an idiot. I saw the way he looked at my sister.”

Kaplan’s face flickered with distaste, mostly contained, carefully controlled. “You’re not saying he likes ’em young, are you?”

“Nora may act twelve sometimes, but she’s twenty-six. She’s at least half his age, but it’s still not as bad as it could have been,” Nolan said. “I hadn’t heard his daughter went missing. I’m not surprised he has more than one, but I didn’t find her before I shut down my evaluation. It didn’t take a genius to know that he was never going to get elected. I told him that. End of consultation.”

“How’d he take that?”

Nolan laughed. “You thought he was a threat to me, Shaelynn? No. Not him. He was arrogant, so self-important that he couldn’t believe things were other that what he thought they were, but he was not dangerous. He didn’t have the connection to reality to be a threat. He assumed that I was just going to tell him what he wanted to hear. I didn’t. He said he’d convince everyone he knew not to hire me, but I haven’t seen any decline in business, so I don’t think that worked.”

Kaplan glanced between them. He shook his head. “My sister thinks I’m a screw loose or two since I got shot last year. She asked Shaelynn here to make sure I wasn’t, and when I made the mistake of mentioning my insomnia, I now have two people overreacting to it. I’m fine. I don’t think Bavelier is at all involved in my lack of sleep, and while I’m glad this had nothing to do with any cults, I know I wasn’t much help.”

“You did talk to the daughter,” Shaelynn reminded him. “What did you get out of that?”

“Other than a renewed hatred for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Not much. She hated her father, didn’t want him going into politics, and she didn’t have much use for someone she thought was helping him.”

Kaplan let out a breath. “If you think of anything else, give me a call. I’d appreciate anything that might help me find those girls.”

Nolan took the card from her with a nod. “I assure you, if I had anything I thought would help, you’d have it, confidentiality be damned. I just… don’t know anything helpful.”

Shaelynn wasn’t sure if the agent believed that. She didn’t know if she herself did, though she didn’t think he was crazy enough to try and pursue that on his own, not with his insomnia and everything else, but she didn’t know what went on in his head these days.

Kaplan started toward the door. Nolan turned the card over in his fingers. “Agent?”

“Yes?”

“Either of those brothers of your husband single? I’ve got a sister I’d love to get rid of.”


“You sure you don’t know anything else about her case?”

“The daughter was extremely hostile and had a colorful vocabulary, but that’s not going to help anything. It might suggest that she was more of a runaway than any kind of victim, but I don’t know that we—that she—can assume that. Kaplan’s case. Not mine. Not yours. I’d give her information if I had it, but I don’t have it. I don’t know what to tell her other than I hope she finds those girls before it’s too late.” Nolan rubbed the back of his neck as he leaned over the stove, turning on the back burner and the kettle. “I can’t believe you’d think I’d keep something from them. What do you take me for?”

“Someone who handles things his own way and always has,” Shaelynn said, walking up behind him. He tried not to jump when she put her hands on his shoulders, fingers working down into his skin. She was good at this, had done it for him before when they trained together and after, but not since the day she left the first time. They weren’t those kids anymore. “You are very tense.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t want me to work that out on the mats.”

“You haven’t slept. Nora’s right. That’s not fair, and I’m not Ambrose.”

Nolan flinched. Shaelynn let go of him and went to the counter leaning against it. “Yeah, I never managed to forget him, either. One silver lining, if you want to call it that, is knowing that he was killed in the raid on the compound.”

Nolan closed his eyes. He hadn’t found much comfort in that, though he doubted he would have found it if their trainer had lived and was locked away for the rest of his life, either. He didn’t know that he could ever get rid of that rhetoric they were shoving down them at the same time as they tried to turn them into soldiers.

“You have all those luxuries at the office, and you still make coffee over the stove?”

“I know just how I like it. None of the machines can make it like I do, no matter how ‘smart’ they are or how many features they have.” He shrugged. “Old habits, I guess. I was doing this back before I liked coffee, back with Mom before the drugs, before your father…”

“You ever think about what it would have been like if he hadn’t found her and convinced her to join him?”

Nolan grimaced. “I try not to. Things were bad enough in the cult, but she was in a bad downward spiral. Her addiction was so bad she barely functioned, and she didn’t make a lot of money like that—the time was coming when she was going to overdose. Social services could have taken us away, I guess, and that’s somehow the best outcome. I don’t want to think much about the others.”

“I had that nightmare again last month. Haven’t had it in over five years, but there it was, the one where we never got out of there… Pissed me off so bad—I am tired of it having that much hold over me—over any of us.”

He snorted. “And we’re the lucky ones. Nora never had to get married, you weren’t one of his wives because you were his daughter, and I somehow ended up the head of our ‘house’ and didn’t get executed for being a bad child soldier.”

“Dream was different this time.”

He stiffened. “I died?”

“No. You drank the Kool-Aid.”

He didn’t think it could have hurt more if he’d been shot again. Boath had tried to indoctrinate him, and Ambrose had done his best in the training to help break him as well. He’d come close a few times, close to breaking, to giving in. “I think you should go back home, Shaelynn. I’m sure I will find a way to sleep again, and it was never your concern.”

“I don’t think I ever really thought about it in those terms before—oh, everyone called you a hero when we got out, people praised you and said you were something special, and the ones that were loyal to my father hated you as the worst kind of traitor—but I never stopped and thought about how much of an impact you had on all of us.”

“Motivational speeches were never your style. What gives? If you were going to have some kind of… moment over me, shouldn’t it have been when I got shot? All of this is rather… late.”

She looked at him, shrugging. “You’re not the only one who can get philosophical, and I was never good at timing.”

“Liar. You’re trying to make me feel better after that whole Kool-Aid comment.”

“Do I get coffee?”

He looked at her. “I shouldn’t give you this because you did make that damned Kool-Aid comment in the first place, but if you and I held grudges, where the hell would we be now?”

“Dead,” she said, and he would have winced if he hadn’t known that answer before he asked the question. In a messed up way, they’d saved each other back then, and that stupid bond left them stuck together when anyone sane would have parted company the moment they were free and stayed that way. “Cups?”

He pointed to the cupboard above her head. She reached up for one, taking it down and shaking her head. “You continue to surprise me. I wouldn’t have pegged you as a guy with cartoons on his coffee mugs.”

“Shrinks said I never developed emotionally. You should see my comic collection.”

“I’ll pass.”