It’s inevitable that a road trip brings up this song.
It just is.
Of course, Luna made it worse by singing along. 😛
On the road again –
Just can’t wait to get on the road again.
Kabobbles Sing Along is just what I think when I hear songs. I sometimes see images when I hear lyrics, pictures or movies in my head. Sometimes I relate it to stories. My interpretation of the songs and lyrics are probably nothing like their original intent.
Author’s Note: So I started writing, and all of a sudden I Hear a Symphony was stuck in my head. I have no idea why.
“I think the scariest part is that I’m getting used to the snoring.”
He smiled, looking across the car at Luna. Alvin no longer claimed to feel lonely, and he slept more with his recordings, and now she could drive if she didn’t get distracted by the snoring. They were able to make a much faster progress on their return trip than they had when they started out. He knew Luna wasn’t happy about having to stay in one place again, and neither was he, but they had to consider the money—and she was almost out of what she’d left with, she’d admitted that much, though it had taken far too many questionings to get that response from her.
She’d have kept going without any money at all if it meant keeping him happy, and he thought was so beautiful. She was the best friend anyone could ask for, and when he thought of that, he got scared of losing her all over again.
So they were both afraid of loss. That shouldn’t surprise him, and yet it did.
“Now that we can get him to sleep almost on command, it will be easier to have him with us and see all that we want when we are near your home, yes?”
She nodded. “I hope there’s still enough to keep you curious back there.”
“I told you—I don’t need curiosity. I need you.”
She smiled, but instead of talking, she reached for the radio and turned up the volume, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel as she kept driving. He frowned, not sure what to do about that. “Can I ask you something?”
“If it involves you leaving, the answer is no.”
“I figured as much.”
“If you want to know about the paint in my hair, it was a long-standing joke in my family. I’ve been painting since I was a little girl, and I was always getting paint all over everything. Mom said the worst part was my hair. She wanted me to wear it long when I was younger—I still keep it pretty long—and so I’d always be dragging it into paint somehow or other. She got so sick of trying to get it out, and I laughed because I’d started dipping it in the paint can on purpose.”
He reached out to touch the pink tips and stopped, shaking his head. “I wasn’t going to ask about that, but thank you for telling me.”
“What were you going to ask, then?”
“I wanted to know what I sound like to you.”
She frowned. “What?”
He glanced back at Alvin, snoring away in the back seat, and then back at her. “You turned up the volume on the radio, and so I started to wonder if… You say his snoring is annoying. I have heard you sing and heard you read aloud, and I think your voice is very nice, soothing and lovely and melodic.”
“Melodic?”
“You dislike that word?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know that I dislike it. I just never expected to be called melodic, even if I might enjoy a bit of singing now and then, even if I gather an audience when I’m reading aloud. It’s kind of weird. Surprising.”
“I like your voice.”
“I like yours.” She saw him frown and smiled. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you sound, Tynan. I turned the music up because I like the song, not because I was annoyed by your voice.”
“Oh.”
“You know, I haven’t really found much about you that I don’t like. Sometimes it can be very frustrating because you miss my point over and over again, but then in some respects, it’s a relief because then I don’t have to worry about those moments where I swear you don’t feel the way I do. Most of the time, though, I can pretend.”
“I thought… I don’t know that you have to pretend about anything.”
Her smile then was wide, more radiant than any of the ones he’d seen before, and he smiled back, thinking there must be some kind of name for the feeling she invoked in him. He was not sure he wanted to know what it was, though. The possibilities worried him as much as he wanted to see her smile at him like she was right now.
So I was working on a bit of the alien’s story, and I swear, all I could hear was this song in my head.
Whenever you’re near
I hear a symphony
A tender melody
I used that part for the melody, but this part is kind of true for most couples, including Tynan and Luna, despite their making a hive for Alvin.
I’m lost in a world
Made for you and me
Kabobbles Sing Along is just what I think when I hear songs. I sometimes see images when I hear lyrics, pictures or movies in my head. Sometimes I relate it to stories. My interpretation of the songs and lyrics are probably nothing like their original intent.
Author’s Note: Luna gets all the fun jobs.
“We like this.”
“I’m glad,” Luna said, giving Alvin a tight smile. That was not one of her radiant ones, and he knew that she was still worried. She was afraid of Alvin changing his mind, of him demanding to return to his hive. That would mean that he would leave her, and that seemed something that she was unwilling to let happen, no matter how many times he promised that he would return.
“Friend Luna has the best stomach ever.”
She sighed, running a hand over his head as she tried to get comfortable. “I really wish you didn’t find it comforting to listen to my digestion, but since that’s what you need, I’m doing my best to help you with it.”
“It’s not your digestion that is appealing. It is simply the closest sound to when his people are sleeping in the hive.”
“I know,” she said, letting out a breath. “I just wish that he could hear it without being right on top of me. It’s not—Alvin, what did I tell you about flapping your wings? I can sit still if you don’t smack me with the wings, and I’ll let you stay there until you fall asleep, but no hitting me with the wings, okay? Please?”
“Sorry, Friend Luna.”
“His wings beat in his sleep. That’s how his species works. I know that is not easy to accept, but it is what happens.”
She nodded, closing her eyes. “I think part of the problem is that I keep getting this image in my head of my face plastered over all the supermarket tabloids with a headline about me having an alien lovechild.”
“That would be completely inaccurate. You cannot have his child—or mine—for that matter. The species are incompatible.”
She winced, lowering her head. “Yes. I know that. Hell, you can’t even touch me, so that would make any kind of reproduction impossible, now wouldn’t it? Just—Oh, I need to get up. Alvin, we’ll try and get you some sleep in the hive later. I can’t do this right now. I’m too worked up.”
“What if… Oh, if I could only touch you and soothe you or if I could read to you and relax you…”
She gave him a more genuine smile that time. “I would like it if you could read to me. As nice as it was to read to you, as much as I enjoy it, it would be nice if you could read to me, too, or just read for your own sake. The things you’ve been denied…”
He almost reached for her, but he did not dare touch her while she had Alvin on her. Too much could go wrong. “There are… audiobooks. Perhaps if we got one of those for you to sit through while you were letting Alvin rest against you, it would help. We could try that. Exhaust all our options, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And pillows and to make you more comfortable, too,” he said, walking around her to see if he could find other ways to make it easier for her.
“I wonder if they make things that allow you to listen to babies at home.” She put a hand to her head. “I mean, listen to the ones in your stomach—not that I—Well, it might help amplify the sound so that he doesn’t have to sit on me all the time. Or we could make a few tapes for him to hear whenever he wanted. That would also help.”
“Then… we will find one of these things or the nearest equivalent to it. Anything to make you happy and more… cozy.”
“Oh, Tynan, I know exactly what would make this… cozy, but that doesn’t mean that I can ever have it.”
He frowned, about to ask her what that was when Alvin started snoring, loud enough to wake his whole hive even though they were galaxies away. At least he was asleep, wasn’t he?
“Earplugs. I definitely need earplugs.”
Author’s Note: Just because it’s an option doesn’t make it one that makes anyone happy. It might not be for the best.
“I can think of only one solution to Alvin missing his hive.”
Luna looked up from her coffee, frowning even as she fought a yawn. “I’m not sure I like what I think you’re going to say. You’re going to say that we have to get him back to his hive, but the only way to do that is to tell people he broke the rules and came here, and that’s not a good idea. He’ll be arrested and tortured and—”
“If he told them he was taken here by a vortex, then he would be in no trouble.”
“Do your people generally abduct their food?”
“Um…”
She leaned forward. “Not only that, but you’d be telling them that you’re here. If you did that, even if you escaped from helping him get back to his hive, you’d make it so you could never come back. They’d be watching for you. Hunting you. You can’t do that. They’ll never listen to you. They won’t see what I see—and that is not a monster. Oh, Tynan, you are so much more than your appetite. You have moved and grown and learned to lo—I mean, you feel—and you’re a good person, even if you are a black hole.”
He frowned, but he did want to touch her for some reason. What was it about that sensation that meant so much? Why did it matter? He didn’t understand it. He didn’t know that he ever would. “If he is unhappy, it is not for me to force him to stay. I brought him here. I am responsible for returning him. I must find a way to do that.”
Luna looked out the window, biting her lip. “Isn’t there any way to do it without risking yourself? I don’t want to lose you.”
“If I leave, I will come back to you.”
Her head jerked back to him. “Leave?”
“If we are to get Alvin back, I would have to. The only way to do that is for me to go back to let someone know that Alvin was here, allowing them to take him. That’s what must be done. It will not take long. All I have to do is tell them that someone ended up here, and then they’ll come for him. He can go home.”
“No. No, this is his home. We’re his hive. We can make this work. You don’t have to go.”
He shook his head. “I think I do. Alvin is lonely, and we are not his hive. We’re not his people. If… I have never had a home before, but you have given me one. I just don’t think that you can give one to him, no matter how much you try. He is not the same.”
She closed her eyes. “I know he is different, but there has to be something… You can’t just go.”
“I said I would come back.”
“You know you can’t. They’d look for you. They’d take you away. What you are terrifies them, remember?”
“Luna, are you… crying?”
She shoved her coffee away and rose, heading to the back of the restaurant. He looked down at the table and sighed. He needed to find Alvin again. If Alvin wanted to go home, he would make sure that Alvin got there. He should never have brought the creature here in the first place. It was not right that he had trapped Alvin here.
He started toward the door, but he stopped when he heard Luna’s voice.
“Tynan! Wait!”
He turned back. “I was going to look for Alvin.”
She wiped at her cheek. “Yeah, I—Well, that’s not what I thought, but two things first. One, you have to ask Alvin what he wants. Two, I think even if Alvin wants to go, we should try and make a real effort at making him happy here. If it takes music that vibrates, then we’ll get music. We’ll take him other places. We’ll give him white noise or whatever he needs. We need to try first.”
“I don’t—”
“I can’t lose you any more than you can lose me. So… we have to try as much as we can first, exhaust all our options. Please.”
He nodded. “Very well.”
She smiled, and once again, he wanted to touch her, but he knew he could not.
Author’s Note: Luna still doesn’t get any rest…
“Are you rested?”
“Tynan…”
“Alvin is outside, and he seems quite distracted by the music coming out of the car that is parked next to yours. It is… vibrating, and I think he finds it quite soothing, reminding him of the hive in some way. I do not know how that matters, but it does seem to help,” he said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She had her head under the blanket for the most part, but he could see just a bit of her hair. “If you would like me to go, I can. I do not want to keep you from your rest.”
She sighed. “Could you believe… I can’t sleep? After all that, I can’t seem to fall asleep. My brain just won’t quit. I don’t know what to do to help Alvin, and I don’t know what we’ll do about money, and I don’t know what I’ll do about you…”
“Why am I troubling you? Did I do something wrong?”
“No. You don’t… You have no idea what I’m talking about, and maybe that’s for the best. It’s impossible, after all, and why complicate a good thing with the impossible?”
He frowned, wishing he understood her more. He did not know what she was talking about, but if he did, perhaps he could stop her from feeling this way. She talked almost as though she was depressed again, and he did not want to have her back on medication. “What we do is not… impossible, is it?”
“No.”
“What is wrong, Luna?”
She closed her eyes. “Just having one of those moments where I wish you could hug me even though I know you can’t.”
“Would you like me to try?”
She frowned. “I thought you would never do that, never risk it, that you’re convinced that you’d kill me or destroy everything and…”
“I am. I still worry about it, but I would like to be able to give you what you want.”
She sighed. “Sometimes I think you make it all worse when you try to be nice. It just makes it that much harder to remember that it is impossible. Still, I know it is. I do. I just forget every now and then. You know what the funny thing is? I think I couldn’t sleep because I was alone.”
“I can go get Alvin—”
“No.”
“Um…”
“I don’t want Alvin. I… just want you.”
He smiled. “I can remain if you like. I might have to move, though, and when I do, I’d disturb you again. Would you mind, or should I stay where I am for now?”
“I want you to stay.”
He studied her. “Is this a moment where humans would have something called… a bedtime story? Should I attempt to tell one? I don’t know much of what they’re like, but I am not unwilling to try. I would do anything for you, Luna.”
“Oh, Tynan…”
“Am I being impossible again?”
“Yes, but…” She reached out from under the blanket and put her hand over his, just for the briefest of moments. “Don’t stop.”
Author’s Note: Well, this one took a couple odd turns on me. They were talking about one thing, and then it was about something completely different. Poor Luna, though. She gets stuck solving everyone’s problems… and never gets enough rest.
“Friend Luna?”
“Luna is sleeping. Go away,” she said, pulling her blanket over her head. He smiled, amused by her antics. She was not asleep, and that was obvious just by the fact that she spoke. She should know better, but then he expected she was very tired after all the driving and traveling. She did not have the limitless energy of a black hole or of a member of a hive.
Then again, she had seemed to lose some of her radiance after her father called her. She had argued with him over money, and that seemed to have lowered her spirits. She’d ignored several signs along the road that he thought she would have turned off for, and he didn’t know that their road trip could continue for much longer.
The money. They didn’t have the necessary funds, not to keep up with the car and the food that Luna and Alvin needed. Not every novelty stop was free, and that took money, too, and he did not know how much Luna had left with, and she might not have enough now. He should ask her.
He would, when she was more rested.
He didn’t want her getting sick or anything. He wanted her to keep her safe and healthy.
“Luna?”
“Not you, too. Take Alvin somewhere and amuse him so that I can get some sleep.”
He knelt down next to her. “This is not because of your father, is it? About the money?”
“You don’t have to worry about money, Tynan.”
“You do, and I don’t want you to miss out on what you want to see or do because you do not have the funds for it, nor do I want to be a burden upon you since you are traveling mostly for my sake. I would not want to harm you in that way, either.”
She pushed down the blanket. “All I want right now is to sleep. I’m just a bit tired, and I don’t want to think about money or fight about it. You know why people are always so unhappy? Money. It’s always about money. They don’t have enough, or they spent it foolishly, or they think they need to make more, always pushing for things that don’t matter…”
“Were your parents like that?”
“No. Well, sometimes. Everyone is.”
“I cannot handle money, and it has no value for me,” he told her. “Does that make it… better or worse, do you think?”
“In some ways better. In others, not as much. Look, I paid for the motel room for a change. I’m tired, and I want to sleep. You and Alvin don’t have to stay with me, but you have to let me sleep.”
Alvin sighed. “We miss our hive.”
Luna sat up, frowning. “Are you saying you want to go home, Alvin?”
The wings stopped beating, and he settled on the table, sighing. “We do not know. We just know it is not the same. We are… lonely. We have friend Luna and Tynan the vortex, but we are lonely.”
She put a hand to her head, her hair a mess, painted strands caught together and twisted in odd ways. He thought she did look very tired indeed. “Oh, Alvin. I don’t know what we can do about that. I’d say you need a girlfriend but—”
“You are girlfriend. You are a friend. A girl. So, girlfriend.”
She groaned, putting her head down on the pillow. “I’m not anyone’s girlfriend, Alvin. Just… Let me get some sleep, and I’ll try and figure out something in the morning, okay?”
Alvin nodded. “Yes, Friend Luna.”
“Come with me. We will find some way of amusing ourselves—and making you less lonely—that does not disturb Luna’s rest.”
Author’s Note: So I pulled a few random travel things that I have done, personally, to create this bit of their road trip. Yes, these things exist. They’re kind of neat. If you don’t believe me, scroll down to see New Salem Sue.
“That is a very strange sculpture. Who would want to make something like this?”
“You object to the sight of a giant cow? I suppose you don’t consider it art, do you, Mr. Black Hole?” Luna walked away from him, and he thought she must be mad at him again, though he didn’t know what he’d done. He thought traveling made her happy, since she sang along with the radio and even danced a bit as she drove.
She had been creating a lot, too, taking photographs and drawing pictures or painting at some of the places they stopped. He thought that was good for her, all of this. If she had a radiant smile when she was outside her bookshop reading to crowds, it was even wider when she was out in the beauty of nature, spinning and giggling as she turned around.
She was free, and that freedom was beautiful.
He frowned, staring at her as she watched Alvin fly around the legs of New Salem Sue with a smile. He was not sure that the word applied to her—yet, surely it must for beauty was of the soul and in the eye of the beholder—and he thought she seemed radiant, at least. She seemed to have a strange energy about her today, something that surprised him after how long they had been on the road.
He did not even know where he was. Luna was the one driving, so she did.
“I just find it interesting that someone chose to do this,” he said as he drew near to her, careful to maintain some distance and still compelled to be as close as he could be.
“Agriculture is a huge part of the economy around here, you know.”
“Is it?” He turned his eyes to the fields under the hill and nodded. Yes, that made sense. He should have known. “I was thinking perhaps the cow was sacred.”
She giggled. “Maybe. I suppose this would make an excellent shrine for cows everywhere. It’s quite the monument already.”
He frowned. “Have you been driving too much again today? I’m not sure this area has enough things for us to stop and look at, and I’m also not sure you’re getting enough rest. If I had known that you’d take us all the way across the country and back again and to places I’ve never heard of, I might have changed my mind about all this.”
She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Tynan. It’s a road trip. The best part of a road trip is flying by the seat of your pants—literally in Alvin’s case—and doing whatever whim comes to you when you’re there. I see a sign advertising a giant cow or a giant buffalo or a prairie chicken, and I’m going to stop. There’s nothing you can do about it. I’m weird that way.”
“Clearly.”
She glared at him. “Look, if you want something that everyone does, you go to the same places that everyone does, you get in with the crowds, and you hate that. You don’t want crowds. I found a few novelty places for us to go. I thought that buffalo museum near Jamestown was neat, and you seemed impressed by the albino buffalo, admit it.”
“True, that was fascinating.”
“Are you ever going to admit that you used your talents as a shape-shifter to go join the herd?”
“I did not.”
“Alvin was having a blast in the pioneer town, locking himself up in jail like a weirdo, so he didn’t even notice that you ditched us, but I did.”
“I was not pretending to be a buffalo.”
“Liar.”
Author’s Note: While on the one hand, he’s getting better at these things, he still manages to miss the point. A lot.
“Are you mad at me?”
Luna looked up with a frown. “I thought you went off in search of a lesson or something.”
“I didn’t go far. I didn’t want to go without you, and I was worried about you. I suppose I should have been. You didn’t come out of the store yesterday. Not once.”
She lowered her head, letting it rest on her knees. Her hair was not tipped in black, but it was close, a dark blue that could have been mistaken for black in a different light. He did not like it. He had hurt her too much—she might even have gone back to the medication and doubting that he was real, and all because he couldn’t stop talking about losing her.
He could have lost her by talking about losing her. He felt rather stupid, hating himself for letting that fear dominate their conversation and ruin what they’d had. “Luna?”
“I had a bad night, that’s all. I don’t want to talk about it.”
He knelt down, trying to see her face. “It is my fault, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not. Not all of it. I just… I haven’t managed to stand up to my father about anything, and I don’t like that any more than I like how you won’t listen to me. He kept saying that I shouldn’t talk to you or let you in the store, that I had to give you back your robot—Alvin—and should move on with my life. I’m not really sure what he thinks moving on would be—this store is my job and my inheritance, and I haven’t done much painting since Mom died… And it’s not like there’s a family or anything in the cards for me, but I know he’s got it in his head that there should be grandchildren.”
“This is… out of a need for something to care for?”
She shrugged. “I don’t want to think about my father’s reasons for anything.”
“What do you think of the wizard’s reasons? Do you think he is like the one in the movie, the original book, or that retelling and musical?”
She laughed. “You went looking for a lesson in The Wizard of Oz?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose you missed the point of the Tin Man.”
“I think they were too easily pacified by his lies at the end, yes.”
She sighed. “I think you’re being obtuse, but that is how all men are, aren’t they? They complain about the complexity of women, but I don’t know that we’d be so hard to figure out if they ever took the time to listen.”
He frowned. “I thought I listened, but you… You do not agree, do you?”
“You definitely weren’t last time we talked.”
He sat down beside her. “If I listen now, will you agree to continue as my guide and share everything we can? I was thinking of… traveling. I have been in one place for a while, and I think that might be a part of the reason the fear was so bad, the boredom. I was creating problems because, as you claimed, I was restless.”
“So you want to travel?”
“If you will come with me.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “How? Where would we go, and how are we supposed to get there? You said you don’t have a spaceship, so…?”
“I was hoping… a car. I’m not talking about another planet, though I do wish I could show you that. I want to show you a lot more of the universe, but your planet is large and diverse, and there is much we could see. I think a car would be best. I have used them in the past without hurting anyone, and we could take plenty of breaks to ensure that I do not ruin the vehicle, so… every tourist stop and park and overlook… anything we can find. Does that… Does it have any appeal for you?”
“Oh, Tynan, you should know I’d go anywhere with you.”
He smiled. “Then… you forgive me?”
“Maybe.”
He frowned. “Maybe?”
She smiled, and he was reminded that he would never understand her no matter how much time they spent together.
Author’s Note: So I’m not sure where the whole “happy time on Earth” went, but this was something that had to be explored as well, and maybe the happy will come back. I don’t know.
I do know I couldn’t stop hearing America’s “Tin Man” while doing this.
Luna sat back, her face troubled by his words. She pulled at her shirt for a moment, and he thought that if her hair could change colors with her mood, it would be black now. She twisted her fingers together and then spoke. “Literally, maybe not. I don’t know about your species, don’t know what parts make you up. You look like you should have a heart, though. Figuratively, you have one of the largest and kindest ones that I’ve ever known. You worry so much about not hurting people, and you care what happens to me and what happens to Alvin, and you like seeing people be happy.”
He frowned. He knew that he liked seeing her happy, that he enjoyed the radiance that came with that and what it was like to be with her when her mood was buoyant and positive. She was a creature that should always be kept happy because she could give so much to others when she was. “I am not sure that applies to all people, just you. My focus is too narrow. All I want is you.”
She blinked. “I… You what?”
“I mean—the only person with any true value to me is you, and I need you too much and want your opinion on everything. I want to see your reaction to the world, hear all your thoughts and see your smile and hear your laughter. If I were so altruistic, you would not be the only one.”
She swallowed. “I’m the only one?”
“Yes.”
Her lips curved into a wide grin, and she leaned over, pressing her lips to his cheek before rising and running off to one of the back shelves. He blinked, not sure what she was doing or what she’d done. He knew his face was no more real than the hand was, but he put it to his cheek anyway, rubbing at it as though that could make her make sense.
“Luna?”
“Sorry, trying to find a quote. Not sure if it’s in the book, too, or just in the movie.”
“What quote?”
“Something that Oz says to the Tin Man. Believe it goes… ‘A heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others.’”
He followed her around to the shelf. “I don’t think I understand. I should not be capable of emotion in the first place, but if I am, then it would be about how much I feel about others, wouldn’t it? And there is nothing to say that I am loved by anyone.”
She put the book back on the shelf. “Tynan, I cannot believe you just said that.”
“I should go. I have said enough to upset you already, and I do not think I should stay. I will go seek out a few things and come back when I have learned some kind of lesson,” he said, shaking his head as he started back toward the front of the shop.
“Hey! I didn’t say you had to go. Why do you insist on missing the point of what I’m trying to tell you? Why don’t you see it?”
He looked back at her. “What I see now is that I have upset you. I should never have spoken of your possible death or my fears, and I should not have placed this burden on you because it is not your place to keep my hunger at bay. That is something I must learn how to do. It is not about you.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
He did not know that he could go—he didn’t much want to—but he felt that he should. “I do not know that I will ever be capable of understanding what you want me to or of believing that I have this figurative heart you believe I have. I don’t.”
“If you would just listen to yourself, you’d know that you do. You have a lot more heart than you realize, and if you would let me explain, then I could—”
“It is not about explaining. This distresses you.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I am fine. Well, no, I’m getting a bit angry, but that’s because you won’t listen. Don’t you—”
“I think he should go, Luna. Clearly he doesn’t feel the same way about you.”
She stopped, staring at her father, her mouth opening and shutting and then she turned back to the books. “Dad, this doesn’t concern you. Please go away.”
He took hold of her arm. “You’re my daughter. If it concerns you, it concerns me. I don’t like the way you look right now.”
She leaned her head against the shelf. “It’s not what you think.”
“Isn’t it?” Her father asked, taking her into his arms. He held her, and she seemed to be crying, and this was no place for a black hole that could not hope to do what her father was doing for her. He would go in search of some lesson to learn, something to share with her, and he’d come back when he couldn’t upset her anymore.